Habit; Soonhoon

06

♧

EMOTIONAL HURDLE: overcome. Hopefully.

They don't bring it up, after that, and Jihoon thinks he's doing a good job of getting himself to believe that it really was just a night for messy feelings with no real substance. Messy feelings with no real substance and nothing, nothing to get caught up on.

As long as he can believe that, he'll be fine.

It's not just the two of them, this time. In fact, it's the first time they've all hung out as a group, the entirety of them, in a while; it's the first time the others haven't had to skirt around the mess that was - or still is - Jihoon and Soonyoung's failed relationship.

And God, it's really nice.

Jihoon finds he's been missing a lot since the breakup - and this is one thing he's been missing especially. The comfort of being surrounded by all his best friends, even if they are annoying headasses ninety percent of the time, and being able to simply melt in with the rest of the atmosphere; warm, sort of.

He and Soonyoung sit on opposite sides of the table, and Jihoon is endlessly grateful for the fact that none of their friends are making this uncomfortable. No one points out the situation. No one cracks a joke about it. It's how they used to be, and maybe Jihoon can get used to the concept of friends again.

Or maybe not.

Soonyoung looks so pretty, he makes it kind of hard to decide, and Jihoon can't even be completely mad at himself for thinking so because he's too distracted.

Anyways.

They make jokes and laugh; Seungkwan is telling a story about something stupid Vernon did the other day ("He just, like, let the cat eat the mouse, on our fucking carpet." "What was I supposed to do?" "Get rid of the mouse! What else would you do! If I catch some sort of rat disease I'm blaming you, I hope you know that.") and Jihoon, for once, allows himself to laugh. He lets his smile tug across his face and feels the way his cheeks bunch beneath his eyes, and it feels sort of weird, like stretching a muscle you haven't used in a while. Seungcheol gasps over his own laughter, leaning far against Jihoon and practically crying into his shoulder, and the latter lets the tension melt from his body when he wraps an arm around his friend and doubles over the table in giggles.

He doesn't notice the small frown worrying Soonyoung's face; doesn't take into account how quiet he's being.

It's only later when Jihoon notices something's off - again.

It's on the walk back to Soonyoung's place, because they'd agreed to hang out a little longer and watch the shittiest movies they could find on Netflix, that Soonyoung brings it up; something so unexpected that it makes Jihoon choke on his own saliva when he inhales too quick.

"So ... What's up with you and Seungcheol?"

He coughs past the sting in his throat, saying, "What?"

"I mean, if you don't wanna tell me, that's fine. I just noticed ... I dunno. You two were being touchy."

"Um, okay? I get that I'm not the most naturally affectionate person, but he's one of my closest friends, so I don't think it's that weird."

Soonyoung shrugs, and his demeanor is different from what's it's been the last few times Jihoon's seen him. Not cheery and light, but not so despondent, either; more jittery and uncertain. Mumbling, all reserved.

"You would tell me, right?" he asks. "Like, if you had a thing for someone. Because that's what friends do? It's what we would've done if we hadn't fallen for each other."