#ZOMBAYDAY!!!

Can't I just sleep?...

Edlins pov:- (Do we even have to mention this anymore? Kinnda, why?. Cause its annoying, thats why! You're annoying... You know what?! Lets just get on with it!..)

    Do you ever get that feeling of being dead? No, not actual death 'dead'... just you know... on the inside?...
     I did, 12 something hours ago, when I was in the process of drooling over Sherlock and THAT idot!!! That idiot had to go and step off a ledge...  why?! And here I was left, all alone, weeping and eating but mostly weeping.
     I knew he'd comeback in the next season, but oh god!!! That was too long a wait. So I decided, I decided to do what any mentally stable person would. I would hibernate till the next season premired!
    And I'm happy to tell you my plan worked!
    No not really, it didn't. I was woken up the next morning rather really rudely by incessant knocks and bangs on the door.
    People these days don't really have any sense of sympathy do they? Would you like it if I was at your door at this unholy hour of the morning, knocking like a madman, just hours after you watched the love of your life plunge to their death?!! Would you?!!!
      That's what I thought.
    Anyways, I walked up mumbling incoherently towards the door, having already decided to give the person at my door a loud telling off. I swing open my door, and guess who I see. TOM CRUISE!!!
     No it's just my milkman. And he looks... how do I put it in less harsher words... umm sick I guess? At least that's what he looked from the back side as he had his back turned to me. I coughed "um hey man? You good?..."
      His head snaps towards me. Oh god! I wish he hadn't. It takes everything in me not to puke up my guts at the sight of his face. Was he shedding? Do humans even shed? What the fuck was that green goo oozing out? He groaned eyeing me, raising his hand towards me.
      I was halfway through shutting the door while mumbling " I dont think this is a good idea... I definitely can do without milk for a day." I said eyeing the cracked bottles in his carrier that had some of the green slime dripping from his gaping mouth.
      I don't think he liked the idea of me rejecting his produce. Hold up! That was an understatement! Bitch went ballistic as he screeched trying to force the door open. Thankfully I managed to shut the door before he could apply all his strengths. I scowled "calm the flack down man! It's not like I insulted your ancestors or something?"
     The banging died down a bit replaced by heavy grunting. I sighed "yeah maybe you should get a proper doctors visit." I suggest. Andddd the banging gets right back. Jeez this guy has issues.
       But wait a minute! Why is no one coming to help me? I knew my neighbours were shitty, like just yesterday my right door neighbour was literally having a horrible horror night I'm guessisng because he thought it was a good idea to let everybody listen in to what he was watching. The screams and growls were fucking driving me nuts! By the way I had to ask him where he'd got his surround sound system because it literally felt like the voices came from everywhere. Then the people in the flat above mine decided to either have a dance party or really loud obnoxious sex because throughout the night there were continuous thuds and groans emanting from my cieling (probably the latter)
      But this, this was a whole new level of assholeness. A young, lonely, helpless (okay maybe not the last part) girl gets almost attacked in their building and no one gives a single fuck??! Well fuck them cause I know how to help myself.
      Stumbling over the makeshift fort of blankets I had made in these past two days I started flailing around feeling for my phone.
      Ofcourse I had shut it off. Why would I want anyone to ruin my Sherlock time? I had gone to the extent of downloading the 6 episodes that I had to watch and just about enough F.R.I.E.N.D.S episode to last me between my breaks from Sherlock. I had turned my wifi off to ensure no notifications could block my amazing time. The curtains were drawn and closed tight and the whole ambience was just oh so soothing!
       But today was the day I was supposed to return back to hell. Like all good things my lil vacay had come to an end. As my phone popped open it was flooded with notifications. I ignored all of them going straight to the dailer.
       Punching in 911, I waited for someone to start with their usual tagline '911, whats your emergency' and I could scream at them to quickly send me a hot cop cause a creep was trying to break into my house, and then the hottie would come, HE would be gone, and then the hot cop and I could get married and ride off into the sunset.
       But that never came... instead I was greeted by a mechanical voice saying "we are sorry for the inconvenience but all phone lines are down due to the recent tragedy. We will try contacting you once our lines are clear. We request you to not leave your homes, board the exits carefully, stock up on food  and water and please stay safe." And just like that the phone cut off. I gave my phone a quizzical look. What the hell?!
      I went up to the window pulling the curtain back just a little. The streets were empty, more so eerily empty. And then something caught my eye. Down the street, my milkman having drifted away was trying to get something out of the trash as the trash struggled violently. He finally caught whatever it was and brought it up to his face. A cat! Dude this is why you have diseases, you can't just take things out of the trash and th.. holy fuck he bit its head off!!! My eyes went wide as I slowly backed away from the window pulling the curtain back in place.
      I flicked open my phone deciding that whatever this was could probably be explained by the countless notifications I had got. The first thing I read turned my blood cold.

Zombie virus takes over country... this is not a joke...
  
     
-2 hours later-

      Holy fuck, holy fuck, HoLY guacAmolE FUCK!!!
      I was pacing up and down my apartment. How long was I disconnected from the world really? 2 days or twenty fucking years!
      Its like they can't function properly without me, I go off grid for 2 measly days and the world goes to shit! It all made sense now, the couple in the alley, the screams and the bangings... god had I been oblivious!
       For those of you wondering, no I wasn't scared. On the contrary I was actually excited. Like come on dude it was the fucking zombie apocalypse where I would finally get to 'boom' 'boom' 'pew' my way out of nasty situations!!!
      But the thing was, I wasn't prepared. Honestly if I had the slightest indication my house would have been stacked with weapons and pizza, mostly pizza. But the harsh truth was that I had nothing right now. Barely two slices of pizza maybe, something or the other in the fridge, and a broom handle as a weapon, which seriously was pathetic.
      I sighed realizing that sooner or later my necessities were going to run out, and when that happened I will be forced to venture out into the cold wide open... but those were adventures for another day. I shrugged deciding to postpone the later to the latest later that could ever come to late.
      I crashed into my fort opening up my laptop to binge watch all the MCU films till all this hopefuly blew over.

   -6 hours later-

      God hates me doesn't he? I didn't even get to Hawkeyes cameo in Thor when out of curiosity I started flicking through the notifs on my phone trying to find if there were any interesting ones.
       There were quite a  few from Zeb, and it was safe to say he was freaking out. He had sent me text after text asking if I was okay and his last text simply said 'oh god I hope you're not dead' after which I guess his phone died because I tried calling and it was switched off. Atleast I like to think it was just his phone that was dead... Then there was one from my boss which said 'Smith! You're fired!' Hah! Jokes on him now, guess who wasn't gonna get any more costumers, unless he liked them dead.
        But the thing that I really really wish I had skipped was the text at the literal end of my notifications panel. It was 2 days old now and the contact name made me choke.

Devil's spawn

D.S : Edlin!!! I nd ur   
       help!
D.S : Please!!!
D.S : eddie?!!

       Well shit! I had forgotten her existence and would like to have remained happily oblivious. But now that Izzy had literally screamed out her unholy presence... what was I supposed to do now? Was I really supposed to go rescue her? Can't I just sleep?!
        One question though. If I left her to die in a situation like this would it make me a bad sister? And if your answer is anything other than "oh no Edlin, with a sister like yours it would actually be a favour to the world!"... then honestly I don't wanna hear it.

Oh damn! The drama begins!!!
Thats hardely drama dumbie...
Yeah it is!
No its not.
You guys are just tooo ... I dunno stupid? to understand this masterpiece.
....
.....
Guys?...
You do realize thats the awkward silence that shrouds us while we think about your utterly devastating dumbness??
......
.....
You guys are mean...
Excuse me while I go yeet myself into the sun.
Sounds fun! I'm  coming with!!!
I hope you guys die!...
Guys...
They're gone already?...
.....
ANYWHO!!! I hope you liked this. And if you did weelll just wait for what else is to come!

        Lotz of lauv