Persistence

I love you

To: J***uin

All I ask

Is you don't judge me

Cause as I write this

It's quarter to three (am)

Honestly

I'm very confused

On how I feel

It's like I've been bruised

You asked me

Why I like you

And I was kinda

Wondering too

Not for any reason

Except, need I shout?

I thought that I had me

Finally figured out!

But noooo

Thats not how it works

Because everyone's head

Is full of jerks

They make us confused

And doubt who we are

We're as different and beautiful

As each shining star

You make me so nervous

I have to admit

As I'm writing this

I shake quite a bit

And yet when I am

Wrapped up in your arm(s)

I feel so completely

Safe from all harm(s)

I rarely hug you

When I want to

Because I'm scared

You'll get mad at me, boo :(

If I close my eyes

I can clearly see

The way you look

And talk to me

You think you're so ugly

What!? How???

Ugh do I need to

Explain this now?

Your eyes are so gorgeous

Just dark brown and dreamy

Not as dark as mine tho

And kinda creamy

I could look at them

Forever or hours

Like the way my mom

Looks at the flowers

You think your hair's bad?

Hah! Have you seen mine???

But seriously most days

Yours is more than fine :)

Thank you for sometimes

Letting me hold your hand

It brings me great comfort

Which you understand

Your heart can be caring

And ever so kind

But not on the surface

It's real hard to find

It means so much

I don't think you quite see

How happy I feel when you

Want to spend time with me

If I concentrate hard

It's kind of a bliss

I feel the echo of the kiss

On your cheek on my lips

I want to do it again

But I don't

I'm scared you'll get mad

Don't have proof that you won't

You'll never see me say

Most of that ^^ again

I'm mortified

And pretending I'm writing in pen

Honestly

What means the most to me

Is within reason you never

Tell me who I should be

In regards to next year

I want to tell you

I support you in whatever

You choose to do

I love when you're happy

So now I promise you

I won't kill my self

It's a shit thing to do

To those who you love

It's just too much pain

And to wish that on anyone

That would be insane

If you need me

To stop talking to you

It would break my heart more

But it's something I'll do :(

So wow

Hopefully you have now seen

It's not crazy for someone to love you

J***uin

I love you,

Ash

Soooo when I wrote this I was sooo sleepy I thought I might actually give him this ehehehee...but now I'm thinking maybe not??? I've got a few days to decide tho...this is mortifyingly cringy lmao