~Chapter Twelve~

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I awoke one windy Tuesday morning with my scar prickling uncomfortably. I reached up and rubbed it, trying to make the sensations stop. I had been having frequent dreams of long corridors and locked doors. I didn't recognise the location and there was no interaction with anyone else in the dream, which was unusual as normally my dreams were my father attempting to communicate with me. 

For the whole day I felt slightly spaced out. Snape shouted at me in Potions for leaving my concoction boiling for ten minutes, destroying it completely. 

"Are you okay? You seem a little out of it." Hermione whispered after I finished cleaning out my cauldron. 

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just... Potions, you know?" I shrugged. She didn't appear to believe me, but changed the subject, which I was grateful for.

"Harry, Ron and I were going to study in the library tonight, if you wanted to join us?" she offered as walked out of the classroom. 

"Oh no don't worry. I think I'll be fine." 

"Are you sure? You've seem a little more distant lately." I had been distant lately. The world seemed to be closing in around me, and I couldn't find a way out. Cedric had always been the one to make me smile, no matter how sad I was. But now I had no one.

I looked at Hermione's concerned expression; I couldn't keep shutting everyone out. 

"Okay. That sounds nice. Thanks, Hermione." I smiled thankfully at her, "How's S.P.E.W. going by the way?"

She smiled ecstatically and launched into a passionate description of the many hats and scarves she had been knitting.

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"I was wondering," Hermione said suddenly while we were all studying later on, "whether you'd thought any more about Defence Against the Dark Arts, Harry."

"Course I have," said Harry grumpily, "can't forget it, can we, with that hag teaching us--"

"I meant the idea Ron and I had--" Ron cast her an alarmed, threatening kind of look. She frowned at him, "--Oh, all right, the idea I had, then...about you teaching us."

I frowned, confused about what they were talking about.

Harry did not answer. He pretended to be perusing a page of Asiatic Anti-Venoms, because he did not want to say what was in his mind.

"What are on about?" I asked, a little perplexed.

"Well, I had an idea of forming our own little club, where we could learn Defence Against the Dark Arts, proper Defence Against the Dark Arts, without the interference of that... that shrew." she glanced at Harry briefly, "I thought that Harry could maybe be the teacher..." she trailed off, watching Harry for his reaction.

I thought it was a great idea. Harry was the best in our year by far... and he had the most experience. Unfortunately. 

"Well," he said slowly, "yeah, I...I've thought about it a bit."

"And?" said Hermione eagerly.

"I dunno," said Harry, playing for time. He looked up at Ron.

"I thought it was a good idea from the start," said Ron, who now seemed keener to join in this conversation now that he was sure Harry was not going to start shouting.

Harry shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"You did listen to what I said about a load of it being luck, didn't you?" 

The feelings of being an outsider pushed heavily in on me, but I pushed back. They aren't keeping secrets now. They trust me. 

"Yes, Harry," said Hermione gently, "but all the same, there's no point pretending that you're not good at Defence Against the Dark Arts, because you are. You were the only person last year who could throw off the Imperius Curse completely, you can produce a Patronus, you can do all sorts of stuff that full-grown wizards can't, Viktor always said--"

Ron looked round at her so fast he appeared to crick his neck. Rubbing it, he said, "Yeah? What did Vicky say?"

"He said Harry knew how to do stuff even he didn't, and he was in the final year at Durmstrang."

Ron was looking at Hermione suspiciously.

"You're not still in contact with him, are you?" I could see the jealousy in his eyes and it brought a small smile to my face. 

"So what if I am?" Hermione said coolly, though her face was a little pink. "I can have a pen-pal if I--"

"He didn't only want to be your pen-pal, thought did he?" said Ron, sounding a little sore. I let out a quiet chuckle at his accusation. They both glared at me and I sank lower in my chair, trying to reign in my amusement. 

Hermione shook her head exasperatedly and, ignoring Ron, who was continuing to watch her, said to Harry, "Well, what do you think? Will you teach us?"

"Just you three, yeah?"

"Well," said Hermione, looking a bit anxious again. "Well ... now, don't fly off the handle again, Harry, please ... but I really think you ought to teach anyone who wants to learn. I mean, we're talking about defending ourselves against V-Voldemort. Oh, don't be pathetic, Ron. It doesn't seem fair if we don't offer the chance to other people.'

Harry considered this for a moment, then said, "Yeah, but I doubt anyone except you two would want to be taught by me. I'm a nutter, remember?"

"Well, I think you might be surprised how many people would be interested in hearing what you've got to say," said Hermione seriously. "Look," she leaned towards him, "you know the first weekend in October's a Hogsmeade weekend? How would it be if we tell anyone who's interested to meet us in the village and we can talk it over?"

"Why do we have to do it outside school?" said Ron.

"Because," said Hermione, returning to the diagram of the Chinese Chomping Cabbage she was copying, "I don't think Umbridge would be very happy if she found out what we were up to."

We all murmured in agreement. None of us wanted to get on the wrong side of Umbridge, Harry and I were fully aware of what that entailed. 

Hermione said, "Listen, Ron and I have been sounding out people who we thought might want to learn some proper Defence Against the Dark Arts, and there are a couple who seem interested. We've told them to meet us in Hogsmeade."

"Right," said Harry vaguely.

"Don't worry, Harry," I said quietly. "They all just want to learn. Who cares what anyone thinks of you? The rest of them wouldn't last a minute out in the real world. You could potentially be saving their lives." he studied me carefully as I said this.

"No pressure thought, mate. Only the whole school's lives resting on your teaching skills." Ron said with a lopsided grin.

Hermione smacked him hard with her book and glared at him, causing Harry to laugh a little. She bent her head back to down to her work, but I swear I saw a proud smile as she realised she had got grumpy Harry Potter to laugh. 

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