bluster book

why

Why do I feel this emptiness inside of me? Why do I feel like I have nothing left? Why do I feel like I am nothing? Why do I feel like I have no one to help me through all of this pain? Why do I feel lonely, even though I am surrounded by people everyday? Why do I feel like no one really cares about me? Why? Do you know why, because I do.

I feel this emptiness inside because of depression. I feel like I have nothing left and that I am nothing because I actually don't have something I need to feel full. I feel all of these things because of depression. And right now it looks like there is no way out of it for me. I am always going to be asking why I feel the way I do even if I know the answer. The only question I don't know the answer to is, how do I make this all stop. I just want to be me again. I wish I could feel normal again. But I know that I most likely never will. I wish people knew what I was thinking so they could help me through all of this pain I have. I wish people could see through the mask I put up so they could help me through what I am going through. I wish I had someone who could always be right by my side. Yes I do have people by me, but they can't be there for me 24/7 365. Even though I want them to be next to me. I can't say I don't get help because I do. I can't say people don't understand, because some do. I can't say that I have nothing all of the time, because I do have friends and things. I just wish that I could get better. But I know I can't right now.