Chapter One

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On one hot summer day in Indiana, I decided that my mattress was getting a bit old. As much as I hated to spend money on things, I knew that my mattress had been with me since I moved in, and I did move in quite a while ago.

About a month ago before that day, I saw this funny little commercial for a company called HHGregg. They sold TVs and appliances, and I kept thinking about that little ditty the mascot sung to the tune of "Deck the Halls."


"Everything's on sale during Christmas in July..."


I decided to go to HHGregg, because I was interested in their prices and whatnot.
I drove myself to the nearest store, expecting to find a nice sale and reasonably-priced appliances.


But I found him instead.

I was shuffling through the aisles and sections until I found the mattress department. Luckily, I knew what sort of mattress I wanted. I like memory-foam, even if some people say it's a "disgrace to the spine."

I kept walking, pressing my hand down onto the bedding when I suddenly remembered that my niece wanted some new headphones for school. Thankfully I did have some money to spare, and I could probably get them for her in the store.

I waltzed over to the Electronics section and began to look for headphones when he walked in.
I didn't notice him walk into the aisle. He stood about 3 feet tall, and his limbs weren't attached to him, floating in the air. He stood at my feet until he said,

"Excuse me, ma'am."

I glanced up from the packaging, looked eye level, and then made eye-contact with HH. 


"hmm—oh my ggOD?" I whispered. Thankfully, in my confusion, I had managed to keep my voice down.
I immediately moved out of the way for him, and he passed, mouthing "Thank you."

I turned around to face the aisle walls again, confused and scared out of my mind.
"The. Fucking. Mascot. Exists."
My eyes darted around the aisle. Did anyone else see that?
I tried to continue looking for some earphones, but I couldn't shake the fact that he existed.

I heard a door swing open again, and he promptly walked down the aisle I was in again. This time, I decided to do something.

"Um excuse me?" I said quite meekly.

His head turned around, bobbling like a bobblehead.
"Heya. Do you need some help finding anything?" He said, turning around to face me.

First thing I notice about him is his eyes. Dark and cartoonish, yet somehow realistic enough to tell me that there's a struggle to redeem himself behind those eyes. I stared down at him for a few seconds before realizing that's kinda rude. I made up a lie quick, I just wanted to talk to him.

"Do you know which one of these headphones are very durable? My niece needs some for school."

He smiled.
"Of course! That's one of the few things I know. I'd say that the Sony headphones right there are one of our best," he said, pointing to the earphones, quite proud.

I smiled, and he smiled back. He looked quite cute smiling.
"Shut the fuck up, you did not just say that." I scolded myself internally.

"What's your name?" I quickly asked.

"The name's HH." He said, extending his hand for me to shake it. I bent down on a knee and shook his tiny little hand. 



After a second or two of me sitting there in the aisle and HH thinking, he said, "So, um. Could you pick me up?" 


I felt the heat rise to my face.

"Seriously?! You're falling for a fucking living circular!"

I cautiously looked around for any store clerks before carefully putting my hands around HH's paper body.
I made eye contact again, making sure he was alright before I got up. He was blushing too. "Oh boy." I placed him on an empty shelf and quickly removed my hands. After that, I had so many questions and thoughts, many I was sure would never be answered. I stopped letting them swirl when HH looked at me.

"So. I was just wondering," he put his hand behind his nonexistent neck, "uh... you're very...pretty and um... I know– I know you'd never like someone like me... but I – I was just wondering... um..."

I felt extremely weird at that moment.
I wanted to say yes, but how in the hell would this work out? How would we do things any normal couple would do? He's a fucking save-circular.
I quickly dug into my purse, catching HH by surprise, and found a small sticky-note and pen.

I wrote down my number.

I didn't know what to say. So I just said, "Here you go."

He took the sticky note in his hands. He looked like he was about to cry.

"You–you really mean it?" He said softly. I nodded, attempting to keep my blushing to a minimum. I couldn't look at him in the face.

"I– I'll attempt to call you someday... it won't be easy..." he realised he had spent a lot if time helping just one customer.

"Ah...! I have to go, they'll be looking for me again." He turns to me.

"Thanks for meeting you. I gotta go."
He quickly left, racing down the shelves and out of the aisle.

That night I could hardly sleep.

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