A month. A whole bloody month had gone by and nothing - almost no memory's had returned to you, sure you had the occasional slip saying something you used to say a lot but besides that - nothing, and it was infuriating.
Now don't get me wrong it had been the best week of your not-so-great life and the team were all lovely - a few were a little cautious but that could be expected
But it was worrying, every night you were plagued with anxiety
What if your memory's never came back? What if you would spend the rest of your life without knowing where you came from? Would Tony kick you out if you couldn't remember him? Or worse still - were you really the weapon HYDRA tried to make you?
Depression had begun to take hold, you had hardly slept and when you did nightmares riddled your mind. Many-a-times you had had to run out of a room because a panic attack was coming, you would lock yourself in your bathroom until it passed,
And yet life carried on - tony decided to stay with you (much to your protests) while the rest of the avengers went on missions and you spent most of your time finding out about modern day
Today you were standing in the kitchen, Bucky, Steve and Tony were sitting at the kitchen counter.
Bucky got up and went to get himself a glass of water or something as you listened to Steve and Tony argue over something or other
Suddenly you heard a smash,
You screamed and flipped over to the source of the noise - everything about the past month melted and you were back there - with HYDRA
You jumped on a man flipping him over and shoving him against the wall so his feet were a few inches off the floor, with one hand against his throat and the other poised behind you, you could have easily snapped his neck
"Y/n!" The man yelled in a strained voice
You froze, you dropped Bucky and stepped away in horror at what you had done as he gasped and coughed on the floor
"Jesus" Steve breathed as he rushed to his friend
"Are you Alright?" Tony frantically asked you - he tried to put a hand on your shoulder but you pushed him away and ran, down the winding corridors
How had you let that happen? How could you let yourself hurt someone who was completely innocent? You weren't safe to be around!
You internally screamed at yourself while you ran blindly
You slowed and leaned against a wall for support - you breaths where quick and shallow, your entire body shook as tears flowed down your face, sliding down the wall and sobbing on your knees
"Y/n!" You didn't look up as the sound of footsteps ran towards you,
"Stark, give me a minute" Bucky's voice sounded, followed by the light beating of footsteps on the floor
"Hey kid.." Bucky knelt besides you as you continued to sob "it's alright - you just had a fright is all"
He cautiously put his hand on your shoulder and as you didn't push him away he continued "I know you didn't want to hurt me - I'm okay I swear"
"I-I'm so sorry" you sobbed putting your head in your hands
"Nah kid, it's alright I promise you, this will happen," he paused
"No- no I-I'm not safe to be around!" You screamed through tears as you sunk lower on the floor "I'm a monster" you whispered this part, clawing at your face and pushing Bucky's hand off your shoulder
"Kid" Bucky held your wrists tightly in order to stop you from hurting yourself "don't you dare say that" but this didn't stop your sobbing as you screamed "no! I'll never be normal - my memory's are gone! I am nothing more than what they reduced me to! I have nothing" your sobs became more violent
"Look at me" Bucky commanded but instead you hid your tear stained face away from him "kid, look at me" you slowly raised your head and your eyes locked with his
"Don't you dare say that, you are far from a monster - I know what that feels like, I let that thought take over my life for a year and I know how easy it is to slip into that mind frame, but if you let that guilt, that thought consume you - you're letting them win, you are letting HYDRA defeat you, so don't."
He held out his arms, inviting you into a hug that you almost fell into, you wrapped your arms tightly around his neck and sobbed
"Thank you"
YOU ARE READING
Rescue me. Avengers x reader
FanfictionEver wonder what drove Howard stark against HYDRA? His daughter y/n Stark, owes her life to it. At the age of twenty one y/n disappeared and HYDRA was to blame Presumed dead, you fought against them, your memory was wiped and you became more powerf...
