it was the day of graduation; where you gave me your kiss goodbye unknowingly.
it was the night before graduation; where you slept in my arms, mumbling names in your sleep. now i realized that it was my name that you kept repeating.
now if i would have known that you loved me just the slightest bit, maybe i wouldn't have been so careless and lost the grip around your wrist. but you never told me or made it obvious that you've had a change of heart.
i was so pathetic and i honestly regret every moment of it.
why didn't i answer the call? what was i doing that time where it was so important that i couldn't answer your phone call?
i did call back, but you just never answered. i thought maybe you were mad at me for missing the call but the more i dialed that phone number of yours, the more i realized that your number no longer exists.
you have no idea how hard it was for me to get past these years. i had no one to talk to. i couldn't talk to her about it. i couldn't bring myself to it because it just wasn't right. i would be humiliating myself.
"you finally got a taste of your medicine."
yeah, i sure did. and it tastes miserable.
it's been 2 years now. and i've finally decided to pour my heart out. surely there's regret in the actions that i've taken but i wouldn't say that it wasn't worth my time.
being able to be around you and touch you just might be the greatest thing i've ever done, especially being able to call you mine. and if you ask me to do it again, i definitely would. but only if the love wasn't one way.
and i'm sure it wouldn't have been like that if only i had answered your call.
your best friend told me.
jimin.
he rushed to my house that same night. told me you boarded a plane going somewhere cause you were forced to.
is that why? the phone call? the night before graduation? the breakdown at the rooftop?
you knew all along that this would the result of our relationship, that you'd leave on graduation day with or without me. and that phone call would be the thing to determine my position in this situation.
you did love me, and you wanted to let me know that, but i was too busy celebrating my graduation that i totally ignored you.
i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry that things turned onto the wrong road.
i love you.
