What If

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As promised, I sit with the girls at lunch and as usual, I'm caught up in a conversation that I'd rather not be part of

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As promised, I sit with the girls at lunch and as usual, I'm caught up in a conversation that I'd rather not be part of.

"My thighs are thick cause they're full of love," Mandy says to me with a goofy grin. "That's it. Just love."

I don't know how to respond to that, so I don't. I used to love listening to the random bursts of crap that Mandy often imparted on us, but times have changed, and I now find her very annoying.

Sam says, "Mine are full of cheese and crackers," and then turns to me. "What are yours filled with? The terrified screams of little kids?"

This gets a laugh out of me. "Yeah. That and all the knives that I've pulled from my back so far."

"Wow. Way to ruin the fun," Mandy mutters.

Ignoring her, I sip my cranberry juice and gag a little. "Awful stuff."

"You're awful stuff," Mandy whispers loudly.

Before I can respond, Sam cuts in. "So, I heard you broke your streak."

I give her the stink eye. "Can we not talk about that right now?" Or ever.

Her face hardens. "Then when can we talk about it? You keep shutting the conversation down." She stabs her apple slices with a fork and angrily shoves a few into her mouth. "We're supposed to be best friends, but you're treating me no better than you would a stranger."

I scoff, my anger visible. "Some best friend you turned out to be."

"Um, I'll just leave you two to it," Mandy says while grabbing her tray.

I watch as she joins Sai's table and shake my head at her cowardice. "Clearly I need better friends." I say this to hurt Sam, but deep down I know that I don't really mean it. Mostly because I'm not in the habit of letting people in, so whether I like it or not, the few that I've got are probably my lot for life.

"You think that you're the only one hurting, and that it gives you the right to treat everyone else like shit. Well, you're not the only one living in this nightmare and that makes you unbelievably cruel, Quinn." She grabs her tray and stands. "I'm gonna go cool off before I say something that we can't come back from."

When she joins Sai's table as well, I notice a few heads turn in my direction, but they quickly lose interest when Tillerson drops his tray and causes a huge mess. I thank the Lord for Tillerson's clumsiness and slip out of the cafeteria undetected.

I check my watch when I'm at my locker and seeing that I have almost twenty minutes before the bell goes, slump down right there. I open Twitter and scroll down my timeline, searching for something, anything to distract me from my thoughts.

"Mind if I join you?"

I sigh and when Jessie throws his weight on me, I shove at him. "Idiot," I mutter when he chuckles.

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