where the time went- chloe price

disassociation.

monday morning came by sooner than i had ever hoped it would.

chloe and i woke up fully dressed, getting changed in a fury of anxiety and giggles once we heard the garage door open and the rumble of david's car fill the space under chloe's bedroom, we pretended we were sleeping by the time joyce knocked gently on the door and peaked her head in. however, we regretted that decision a few minutes later when we heard things we did not want to be hearing from her bedroom, chloe groaned and smothered herself in her pillow, causing me to laugh quietly. we actually fell asleep shortly after that, after her arm wrapped around my waist and my hand found its way to her neck, my fingers brushing through her hairline, our lips moving together softly. i wish i could have stayed in that moment forever but time went on, we grew sleepy and now i was on my way to blackwell academy for a 9:30 am class.
i was anxious to see nathan after what i found out yesterday, i didn't want to tell him now. i didn't want to be the one to tell him ever, but i thought it'd be best that he found out from me eventually, not knowing how much his parents would manipulate the situation and make him feel like he was the bad person in this situation.

he wasn't in the classroom, his usual spot was empty but students sat around it, all wondering if he was going to show up to class.

on top of this, i was nervous to see kate, not knowing if she had seen or heard of the video yet made me worry that she was going to find out about it today, she would be confronted with her drunken mistakes.

she was sitting in her usual spot, next to the window and her back facing the wall, as i entered the classroom it was slowly filling, the seats becoming taken by students so i sat in the spare seat across from her, every seat around her was free.
"hi," i greeted her as i placed my bag on the chair next to me, she looked up at me quickly, her eyes were red and cheeks swollen,
"hi," she mumbled in return and i was thankful she didn't see the sad smile that spread across my face,
"how are you feeling?" i asked her, she just shrugged in response,
"did you know what was happening?" she asked softly, her mouth hardly opening for the words to fall out, muffled, i shook my head quickly in response,
"no, i," i stuttered, "i had left,"
"but you came back?"
"y- yeah, i walked victoria back to her dorm," i lowered my voice making sure no one else heard my words,
"your girlfriend?"
"she's not," i sighed deeply, "she's not my girlfriend, kate," i spoke sternly,
"you kissed her though," she rebutted, her eyes staying glued on mine, i felt myself stiffen at her possibly using this against me,
"you kissed those guys, are you dating them?" i spoke without thinking, defending myself, her eyes grew wide as my heart started to radiate anxiety throughout my chest, "i'm sorry kate, i didn't-"
"no," she shook her head stiffly, pushing her chair out from under her, "i was hoping that you were different," she whispered before walking away from me and out of the classroom, everyone's eyes on her then turning to me when i exhaled strongly and sunk into my chair in defeat. i wanted to go after her, to make sure she was okay, but the words that echoed throughout the classroom next stopped me from moving an inch,
"upset she wouldn't make out with you too, bowers?" zachary spoke from the other side of the classroom, my eyes shot to him and i could see him become uncomfortable under my glare as anger shot through me,
"shut the fuck up, zachary," i spat with a laugh before looking back at my desk,
"ooh! the dyke is angry," he laughed trying to egg on his classmates with insulting me but they all sat back, knowing what zach had just said was crossing the line. victoria was sitting next to him, she shuffled awkwardly in her seat and didn't look up at me, a frown appearing across her face. i stared at him with a smirk on my face,
"your internalised homophobia is showing, zach," i seethed at him and he chuckled awkwardly, opening his mouth to speak but mark shot up from his desk, his voice booming through the classroom,
"zachary, principal wells' office, now," he stared at the boy who's cowered and gathered his things, exiting the classroom in a matter of the seconds, "and rosemary," he turned to look at me, "stay after class."

i stayed seated, my eyes not leaving the blank page in front of me for the whole four hour lecture that we endured today. my heart thudded throughout my body softly, i felt it for the whole time, slowly beating away but that was the only thing i felt, apart from the sweat on my hands. i hadn't been called that since i was last in arcadia bay, two and a half years ago, it reminded me of why i was kind of happy to leave at one point.
"you okay?" mark asked me as i felt his presence come near me, i forced a smile onto my face and looked up at him for the first time since the lesson started, i nodded stiffly as he then leant against the desk opposite me, i looked back down at my notebook and closed it before shoving it into my bag, "you sure, rosie?" he asked,
"i'm sure," i whispered in response,
"that word..." he sighed, "i'm sorry he called you that," he spoke softly before i looked up at him, i felt my nose tingle as tears rosie into my eyes,
"me too," i pushed my chair out from under me and stood, my height matching his as his knees were bent and shoulders hunched, her straightened them up once i made eye contact with him, him now being a few centimeters taller than me.
"i noticed you didn't pay attention to that lecture at all," he spoke and i smiled flatly at him, "you can't let people destroy you like that, rosie," i sighed,
"that hasn't happened in a while, i thought people were over it,"
"there's always going to be people who won't be 'over it',"he spoke using quotation marks, "but regardless, there's going to be a pop quiz on that lecture in a few days," he spoke lowly and my heart sunk at how i had left that effect my education again,
"is there anything i can do to pass the quiz?"
"i don't necessarily want to reteach the lecture because quite frankly, it's boring," he laughed softly and i pushed out a gentle smile too, "and the topic isn't crucial to photography. in fact i don't think it should be taught at all but it's in the syllabus," he spoke, getting off track slightly, "anyway, i will mark that you've passed the quiz if you are able to give me a hand this afternoon,"
"what do you need help with?"
"my office," he sighed with a laugh, "it's a mess,"
"you need help organising?" i asked, also joining with a laugh, he nodded,
"please." i agreed to meet mark at his in an hour to help him organise the papers in his office and do a minimal clear out of the rubbish, he just needed to reply to some emails in his office at the academy and then he'd head there, giving me his address before i left the classroom. i folded up the piece of paper and slid it into the pocket of my jeans once i closed the door behind me and started to walk down the now empty halls of the school, well, i thought they were empty until i heard the clicking of flats against the linoleum flooring behind me,

"rosie," her soft voice spoke,
"hi, v," i spoke without emotion as she caught up with me,
"are you okay?"
"i'm fine,"
"i'm sorry he said that," she apologised for him and i laughed softly,
"right,"
"are you okay?" she asked again,
"i said i was fine, v,"
"yeah, but-" she started to speak but i interrupted her, stopping in my steps, she stopped too, standing in front of me,
"remember when people found out," i said, using other words to describe how people discovered my secret, "zach called me that everyday for three weeks straight, every time he saw me, no matter where we were, he would say that word to me. in front of people, in front of my dad at one point," i said looking at her, her eyes flicking around the room, "i didn't expect you to ever speak up and say something to him then. but today," my voice cracked softly, "after everything... i hoped you would have had the courage to say something to him."