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Club lights striving over the mass of heavily sweating bodies on the overfilled dancefloor. Enlightening the faces of the moving people for mere seconds in strange shades of blue, red and green.

Beats pulsating rhythmically, glasses, full of ice cubes, shaking to it, the floor vibrating, filling the otherwise black room with more life.

It was as if this was the last bit of life everyone could savor. As if people, who were stuck in their boring everyday routine of this grey and dull world, tried to escape, living as much as they can. Being as loud and ruthless as they can be. Letting go of their normal, approved selves as alcohol was the driving force in their veins.

Alcohol that provided them with enough self-esteem, enough courage, to dance with complete strangers, to share body liquids with them and probably spend the night.

Clubs were weird places in my eyes. People were weird. Yet I longed for their attention, while I was sitting on the sidelines once again, lonely taking sip after sip from my way too expensive cocktail.

My friends were in this crowd.

The friends who promised me for the millionth time, that they wouldn't leave me. That they would spend the night with me, that they would help me get a number of a hot guy, that I actually would be able to like and maybe love.

Now, they were sweating, being a part of the wave that was moving on the dancefloor, partying their lives out.

All promises are forgotten. Me being forgotten.

I knew that this night would end like every other.

Them having a hot one night stand, they would talk about the next day in university, while I had to go home alone, probably passing Han river and staring at the deep water, that rather reflected the close, bright city lights than the far away stars.

Thinking, where I went wrong, why I was being so shy and no one really cared for me. Why I was destined to live in the shadows of everybody else.

I was not a leader. That was sure. Yet I just wanted someone to notice me, to be a very special being for anyone. I wanted to be seen for once.

I was so damn lonely.

Even my parents kept on ignoring me. My little brother was way more perfect than I was. He was talented and sweet. Everybody loved him. He was the pride of the family, the successful second try after they failed first attempt to create a worthy successor in their family tree.

He was THE Jihyun and I was just Jimin.

I sighed as I exed the last bit of the orangey red liquid, moving the fancy yellow paper umbrella to the side and inhaling one of the dozens of ice cubes.

I let it melt on my tongue, sometimes happily crunching it.

That was my trick not to get too drunk.

Sighing my gaze wandered once more to the dancing people, trying to spot my friends.

Yeah.

One of them was shoving her tongue down a guys throat, hands roaming all over their bodies, while the second one was leading another guy out of the club, giggling and tipsy.

Why should this night be any different?

Why shouldn't history repeat itself?

Closing my eyes for a bit and swallowing my ice cube down, I walked to the bar, a little bit drunk, placing my cup on top of the marble counter, trying to get the attention of the Australian bartender, to get back the money I spent to ensure that people would return their cups.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 23, 2023 ⏰

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