missing piece ; 𝒹𝒿𝓈

THREE

i stood frozen for a good 10 minutes after they left, slowly getting flashbacks of mine and daniels past back home. from before he left me and before we changed. i can't lie, knowing he was here made me mad. the idea that he left me with no explanation and goes to parties, hooks up with random girls and seams happy while i was alone worrying i had done something wrong or something happened to him. i know he probably wants a fresh start and as much as i want to find him i know it's not what he wants and he deserves it.

all the time while i was getting ready i was contemplating my options. firstly i could talk to him which will most likely end with him shutting me down and hating me for ruining his new life and feeling worse about it or i could avoid him and act like i don't know him. this probably being what he wants which makes me mad and hate the idea. either way i know sometime soon i will run into him but until then I'm going to do everything in my power to avoid him.

today i went simple, my blonde hair straight, reaching just below my shoulder blades and a tiny bit of concealer, eye makeup and eyebrows filled in. i have never been one to put much effort in or stand out but i promised myself college would be the fresh start i needed and i'd actually make an effort which so far is going great. daniel and i would almost always turn up to school in sweats and oversized tees and hoodies, i mean i still want to but i know if i don't make an effort now college would just be a relapse of high school.

as i closed the door behind me i took a deep breath, i can do it. As i walked, i passed many cliche groups. the jocks, the nerd, the preps and so on. i already loved the atmosphere here, it reminded me of the countless films i've watched and honestly felt magical almost as if maybe i could get my happy ending and maybe the guy I'm after is out there somewhere. i always thought it was daniel but this part year has helped me get over him, of course there will always be a place in my heart for him but honestly i'd do anything right now to just have my best friend back.

many people handed me flyers for clubs, party invitations and event leaflets. there was honestly so much going on here. too much. the pile in my hand just kept growing. i wasn't really interested in starting anything until i got the hang of life here so i figured i'd just put both earphones in and hope that if i didn't make eye contact i would stop receiving them, this however didn't work.

by the time i reached the hall i had about 30 flyers in my hand so i quickly tucked them into my bag and walked in. I noticed abi straight away, she was stood with about 12 other girls who were the polar opposite of my typical type of friends. they appeared pretty and popular and perfect. they seemed to be stood near the makeup course sign up booth. as much as would've loved to go introduce myself it was physically hard for me, no matter how hard i tried I'm shy and will always be. talking to new people just isn't my thing.

as i slowly plodded towards the music performance booth i could feel the butterflies rising in my stomach and as much as i had prepared myself for today i hated to admit it but i was nervous. hella scared. i guess i just want my college experience to go well and i've dreamed of this day for far too long. i want to be someone people notice this year, i want people to know i exist and now i know daniels here i want to show him that i moved on, that I'm just as fine without him as he is without me. i guess i'm tired of being 'the shy girl'. suddenly out of nowhere someone taps me on the shoulder.

"hey sorry, do you know where the music sign up booth is?" i turn and find myself looking up at a brunette. he was very confident and kind of good looking, i have a feeling he was probably popular and seemed as though he already knew exactly where to go. he could almost be a second year. even though i had a strong feeling this was a joke or someone from my high school had set him up, i tried to be helpful. i feel like i've spent so many years alone that i enjoy talking to guys other than my dad.

"um not exactly, i was just going to look for it if you want to come along?" damn it why did i say that. he just stood there looking at me blankly then behind me, oh great there's someone there. i knew it was a joke. "but you don't have to if you don't wan't to" i say turning on my heal.

"no, trust me i do"

"are you sure?" i continue turning around to see who he's looking at. i was expecting a group of boys however there was just one, a boy with really cute curly hair, definitely the year above. "because it doesn't seem like it" i say hinting behind me. i was starting to feel insecure now.

i feel a bit guilty because of the sarcasm but i just don't feel like he's the right company. something about him makes me anxious. since i don't have much time i gave up and started walking off. think about it! if he had someone who knows, which he clearly did, why would he ask me?

"hey wait up!" he said grabbing my arm but quickly letting go once he got my attention back "i wanna go with you, i do. that's my friend jack!" he points over to the boy who seems to now be talking to a group of girls "he's just here to laugh at me, trust me he wants me to be lonely! obviously not in a mean way but yeah i haven't got many friends in our year and anyway what I'm getting at is it would be cool to get to know someone, you know, have a friend." i know I'm blushing but he's adorable. the way he started to lose his breath towards the end of that and his smile that came to his face after i laughed.

"I'm zach by the way" he adds holding a hand out.

"lily" i say shaking his hand "sorry about that by the way i'm just not used to genuine kindness, i'm basically a joke"

"you're kidding" he laughs "me too" i can tell were gonna be good friends. "let me just do something then shall we" he hints at the booths set out. i look over and i sort of feel eyes on me, maybe this is what being popular feels like?

"lets"

he then turns around to face jack, sticking his tongue out earning a laugh from me, yet again.

after walking round for a good few minutes, we find the stand and cue up. as we make our way to the front we talk about ourselves, and we talk about how we both play the guitar and sing and i tell him about how i play the piano.

"there we are" zach says as we walk away from the stall "officially in" he says holding his welcome pack and course information booklet up.

"i know" i almost squeal "i can't believe I'm actually here, I've always dreamed of singing. ever since i was young me and my best friend, well ex best friend, always dreamt of coming here"

"I'm sorry" i look at him scrunching my nose in confusion "you know, about your best friend"

"don't worry I'm over him" ouch. that's the first time i've said it out loud, i've known it for a long time but saying it just shocks me. "who's class are you in by the way..?"

just as he was about to answer another few girls come up and tap zach on the shoulder asking for a photo. he told me he was in a band but i thought it was just a start up. now i think about it the amount of eyes on us, well on him, is vast and now i realise i just can't ignore it. the feeling was weird and very uncomfortable so as he was distracted i weaved through the others towards the exit.

"oh sorry" i say after knocking into someone causing my booklet to fall to the ground

"its okay" he says "here" he says picking up my welcome pack. its jack.

"jack right?" i take the booklet

"yeah" he nods

"thank you and tell zach that i appreciate his kindness but i have to go" i try brush past to leave before he gets over here

"okay but take this" he hands me a paper and before i can talk he interrupts "it's his number, you should message him"

"yeah okay" i don't know if i will yet but i definitely want to get out of here, and fast.