Josh Dun x Reader

Doubt

Warnings: Self deprecation about weight, angst

Word Count: 1523

You stared at yourself in the mirror, scrutinizing every little bump and dip. It only took a few moments for you to get frustrated and storm off into the closet. The same oversized sweatshirt that you had been wearing all week was sitting on the floor from yesterday. You picked it up and pulled it on. It was the only item of clothing that you didn't hate how you looked in, mostly because it hid everything you didn't like.

Jim followed close behind you as you walked downstairs, looking up at you with his best puppy dog eyes. You had yet to take him out on a walk, mostly because you knew that you would feel extra self conscious the second that you stepped out the door. He looked so cute though. Maybe a short walk wouldn't be so bad?

He ran circles around your feet while you grabbed his leash from the closet. It was amazing to you how big he had gotten in such a short time. You could still remember when he was just a little puppy, able to fit in your arms.

"Come on!" you called.

Jim hopped up and happily walked out the door in front of you. He led you down the driveway and around the corner without hesitation. It was the same path that you took every time you went on a walk. There had been a couple times where you had tried to switch things up, but Jim always ended up leading you down the same roads. You pulled out your phone and took a video of him sniffing at some brightly colored flowers, Josh would probably appreciate seeing his dog.

Josh.

It had been almost a full twenty four hours since you had heard from him last. That wasn't unusual, tour always had kept him busy, but your mind never failed to provide worst case scenario explanations. Maybe he had hurt himself at last night's show and they forgot to give you a call. Maybe the tour bus had broken down in the middle of nowhere and he had no cell service. Maybe he was cheating on you.

Maybe he was cheating on you.

Once the idea had been planted in your mind, you couldn't seem to get it out. It wasn't the first time that you had suspected Josh to be cheating, although you never had any solid evidence to support it. Most of the fear came from your own self doubt.

It wasn't like he would have a difficult time doing it. You were miles away and completely dependent on him and Tyler for updates as to what was going on. Lying was easy when you didn't have to do it to someone's face. Not to mention that there was no shortage of girls for him to choose from. Girls that were funnier than you. Prettier than you. Thinner than you.

Why wouldn't he cheat?

You held back tears as you rounded the last corner before you got to your house. Jim followed close behind you, occasionally tugging at the leash when he found something particularly interesting. You just tapped your foot impatiently and hoped that you could make it to the house before you broke down entirely.

Jim wagged his tail happily as you unclipped his leash and threw it unceremoniously back into the closet. You needed something--anything--to take your mind off of Josh right now. A movie would have to do, at least it would give you a couple hours of peace. Jim also seemed more than willing to curl up next to you and keep you company.

You only made it about fifteen minutes into the movie when all the tears that you had been holding back finally let loose. The movie was supposed to make you feel better, but instead you just ended up comparing yourself to all the actresses on screen. If you looked like them, you were sure that you wouldn't have to worry about Josh cheating. But you were just you.