About That Sunday

Chelsea.

The last of the sunlight cascaded through the large windows behind me and onto my computer screen making it nearly impossible to read these emails. Every single day the sunset delayed my work for fifteen minutes. Every single day it inconvenienced me.

My phone vibrated and when I looked down I knew exactly how the call would go. I've pushed it off all day with lies and excuses and yet here he was again begging me to see him. When the phone reached my ear I heard him.

"You're going to die rich and alone." He spoke flatly.

His calm political-like voice held a serious tone regardless of the fact that I knew he was joking.

His career only heightened his ability to remain serious while he joked. "When was the last time you went out?"

I shook my head.

"At least I'll still be beautiful. Five years from now you're going to need Botox; keeping up with the Kardashian's isn't easy Ryan." A rare small smile appeared on my lips. My secretary's eyes found mine and my smile quickly faded as I shot her an ice cold death glare.

"Fuck that family." Ryan broke into laughter. "Besides, you're my sister. If I get ugly so will you. We share the same genes." Ryan must have noticed my jovial joking tone because he jumped on the opportunity. "Just think about it, we both know you don't have to work all night Chelsea. Our parents are gone it would be nice to have you there."

I shook my head to answer him knowing he couldn't see me say no on the other side of the phone.

"Maybe, but I have to go. My secretary just informed me that I have a client in the conference room." I lied. There was no way in hell I was going to his movie premiere or the after party.

"Is your secretary cute?" Ryan probed, his voice still playful.

"Bye Ryan."

"You need to get laid."

Click. I hung up before he could speak any further.

Through my open office door I watched my assistant Anna. She was busy away answering my calls and taking notes. I studied her thinking about what Ryan said. Yeah she was cute, but she was way too eager to get to know me.

My boss insisted I hire an assistant. Someone my clients would like to stare at while they waited to speak to me. So there she was, answering phones, fetching coffee, and wearing a skirt that hugged her a little too tightly.

Although she was beautiful she just wasn't my type. Her dark hair matched her brown eyes and her beauty went without question. But when you looked into her eyes you knew exactly what she wanted or felt. There was absolutely no mystery.

"Anna." I spoke flatly.

I watched her place the phones on hold and make her way to my desk. My light brown hair cascaded down my shoulders in an attempt to make me to look older. I was in fact, too young to have this job.

"Go pick up my coffee, and here." I handed her a fifty. "Never listen to me on the phone again." I smiled at her coldly until she nodded and left my office.

Being mean was part of the act. I needed people to respect me. Being only 25 years old I was one of the most successful tax attorneys in the city. Some of it was luck, I can admit that. I had gotten lucky. My family knew people and it escalated my career significantly. Nuzzled into my iPhone were the names of someone of New York's longest standing and most respected judges. All of which knew me by name. All of which sent me birthday gifts since I was a child. My parents had networked for me long before I ever stepped foot into any classrooms.

But now, they are drawn to me for a different reason. I am beautiful, young, and hungry for success.

It was evident by the way they looked at me when I spoke. The same men and women who went to brunch with my parents now looked at me as if I was something to eat. I used it to my advantage. I batted my beautiful blue eyes while I stood to object and I smiled at everyone while I buried the prosecution with significant doubt. People believed me easily, too easily because my intelligence was second to my looks. For them, a woman couldn't be both beautiful and intelligent. So I used their ignorance to excel.

Forty five minutes later Anna returned with my coffee. She smiled politely as she placed it on my desk and returned back to hers.

I looked at my phone and noticed that Ryan's movie premier started in about two hours. There is no way in hell I was going to spend my night watching people gawk over my big brother. The entire scene wasn't for me. The over the top clothes and fake people made me want to vomit in my mouth.

Yes, my parents were gone and I understood Ryan's need for us to remain close but truthfully, I can't stand his parties. The last time I went to one I threw my drink at his director because he grabbed my ass.

It was wrong for me to generalize them all. But to me it was just more of the same. Men who think they can do whatever they want to women. And young actresses who are willing to sleep their way to the top.

I'll pass.

"Mrs. Marin." Anna addressed me formally. "Your morning conference has been pushed until Monday. So you have nothing scheduled this Sunday."

"Good, you can go Anna. I'm just finishing up." My eyes never left my computer screen. She was a nice girl but she was taking my personality to heart. This is just business. I have no interest in getting to know her further than this.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for earlier." This time I tore my eyes from the screen and looked at her.

Anna's was looking down at her fidgeting hands. Her entire body was screaming 'I have low self-esteem'.

My conscious started to scream at me. I really could be an asshole sometimes. I took a deep calming breath as I tried to find the right words.

"Anna listen, you do a great job here. I just don't want you listening to me personal calls. I'm sorry if I was..." my mind searched for the correct word. "Cold."

With that Anna took her leave. She left me alone in my office. By now must of the others had left. I spent most of my nights here preparing for cases and trials. Some of which would never come as they settled out of court.

I liked the silence. It comforted me. Occasionally a computer would chime with an email alert but other than that there was nothing.

I found myself staring down at the city below me. So full of energy and life. Cars were driving as people zig-zagged in and out of taxis and tourists. They all seemed to have a purpose. Some were probably going home to their families while other were meeting with friends.

Everyone down there has a story. They all have problems and a life to live just like me. Yet they were out there living and I was in here planning for the next twenty years.

Sometimes I think about acting my age. Maybe asking a girl like Anna out to dinner or attending more of Ryan's charity events. That's just not who I am. I want to be the best. It's something deeply rooted in my persona and the only way to do it was to not care about those people walking in the streets below me.

Dates and relationships would always come second to my career. I accepted that a long time ago. I couldn't have both without sacrificing one.

And the only journey that matters is my own.