Twisted Smiles

VII

By the time I arrived home it was almost nightfall.

I went straight to the bathroom, took a hot shower then skipped to my bedroom to get dressed.

A while went by as I stared at my closet with a towel wrapped around my naked body deciding on what to wear. I'd become aware that I had been standing so long once my legs started to tingle. Then I grabbed the first thing my hands could reach and put it on.

It ended up being a cropped navy blue shirt, a black leathered mini skirt and black pumps. I guess I couldn't care less about the weather this evening. Either that or I was deluding myself to believe the warmness of the day would offer a promising night. My overall was an obligation, nevertheless.

After applying heavy make-up, I made my way out my bedroom, praying that I could slip out of the house unnoticed.

Luck wasn't on my side, after all.

Dad was sitting on his custom armchair, pretending to be watching whatever was passing on the television. I knew he was faking it because the television was turned to a lame sitcom he'd always complained about and its volume was at its lowest.

I quickened my pace, already expecting the worse.

When I reached the door I rapidly turned the knob and stepped my right foot out. I drew out a gush of air thinking I had made it.

Only I hadn't.

"Could you come over here for just a second, darling?" He scraped hoarsely.

I sighed heavily, stepping back inside, keeping the door open. "Dad, I'm really in a rush..." I begged.

"It'll only take a moment, Kenzie," he promised. He was obviously bluffing. I hated knowing that and not be able to deny him.

I took a deep breath, closed the door again and rocked on my high heels until I was facing him. As I walked slowly forwards, he patted the arm of his chair for me to sit like I used to when I was a kid. I sat on the couch opposite him, instead, and prepared myself for the talk... again.

"Kenzie..." he took a deep breath before continuing, "honey, I don't know what you've been up to these past few years. You won't tell me; even though God only knows how hard I've tried to make you open up to me. But you're as stubborn as a..." he bend his head down, shaking it in despair. Then he looked up and shrugged. "A father can only imagine what his only daughter is doing out in the night with tight clothing and looking as if her make-up had decided to throw a party on her face." He paused. I knew exactly where this conversation was leading to, and I never liked where it ended. The only way it could possibly end faster was if I'd stayed quiet, so that's what I have always done.

"I feel so resentful of being stuck in this goddamned chair and not being able to help you like a decent father should take care of his baby girl."

I had to bite my tongue not to answer. I'd ruin all the progress of trying to make this conversation as short as possible if I opened my mouth to say that he is a decent father and that none of what's ever happened is his fault.

"It's evident that you keep the bills in check because we've never gotten a blackout and there's always water running through the pipes. You also never allow my medication to end before buying more. But that's not the way it's supposed to be, Kenzie!" He banged his fragile fists on each side of the armchair and I cringed. I was suddenly glad I'd decided not to sit there.

"You shouldn't be ruining your life and youth in this manner, Kenzie." He sighed. "If only your mother was alive... things would've certainly been different."