Give up

Part 8

I'm lying on my bed in Avenger tower. It's been a few months since the avengers came to save me from Hydra. I needed to rest after my training with Rogers this morning. A little time along in my bedroom was all I was craving for when I got out of the training room. It's already dark outside but I still haven't move from my spot.

I'm about to fall asleep as I suddenly hear two voices screaming. The noise was echoing through the entire floor, breaking my peaceful nap. I can't understand a single word but I guess that humans couldn't possibly be that loud. I jump off of my bed with a groan and start heading to the door. The noise is already fading, as I open it.

I turn into the hallway before spotting the person I'm looking for.

"Thor! Is everything alright? Have you seen Loki?" I ask the blond hair god.

"No, I haven't. We had an argument earlier so..." he confesses with a broken expression.

"I'm so sorry Thor" I apologise while giving him a hug.

"I try my best to please him. I want to see the Loki I knew as a child. He's my brother and it seems like I can't find the right words."

"I know you both love each other. Sometimes life is difficult but you are always there for each other and that won't change anytime soon." I try to comfort him.

"Thank you, Saralyn" he responds, hugging me back. My brother and I are very lucky to call you our friend."

"I'm sure everything will be alright soon" I add as I let go of him. I give him one last smile and squeeze his shoulder before heading back to find Loki.

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I can feel the tension as I open the door. It looks like a storm had made his way to the library. The books and papers are spread around the room. The sofas and chairs are lying on the ground. I barely see the shadow standing in the middle of the chaos, the moon being the only light in the dark room.

"Loki? Is everything alright? I just spoke to Thor and..."

"What do you want?" he cuts me middle sentence, with his back turn to me.

"I just wanted to check on you" I confess in a calming voice.

"I don't need your presence. Leave me alone, mortal." He split at me, his voice full of anger.

"Loki, just tell me what happened? I want to help you..." I say soothingly while approaching him.

I try to put my hand on his arms but he harshly pushes me away, final facing me with a look of hurt and weakness that I never saw on him before. He backs away to the other end of the room.

"I'm a monster Saralyn. Do you know my true nature? I'm not even Asgardian. How can they talk about family when they only saved me for their own interest? Everyone looks at me like I'm just some sort of abomination when all I ever wanted was my family's respect." He yells, turning to me with tears stinging in his eyes.

I'm not just mentally but also physically hurt by the sight. My heart is aching in my chest and I can't bear the pain I see him struggling against. I slowly make my way over to him.

"Don't come near me. I'm only going to hurt you. You shouldn't have given me a chance in the first place" he says, his voice full of despair.

"You're not a monster, Loki. You're not going to hurt me" I respond, still making my way over to him.

Suddenly, the look on his face changes. His eyes become bright red while his skin turns to a dark blue. I stop dead in my tracks. I would lie if I say I'm not shocked.

"See? I'm not Asgardian. This is my true form. I'm a Jotun."

I soon recover and start heading towards him again, stretching my hand in front of me. He quickly backs away, avoiding my touch again.

"Are you insane? I'm a frost giant. I can kill you with a single touch. Don't come any closer."

I ignore his warnings and put my hand on his forearm. My fingers become lightly blue but it fades away within seconds.

"What?! No, that's not possible. Your skin is supposed to burn from the cold..." he looks at me, his eyebrows furrowed in disbelieve.

"I'm a mutant, remember? So, the frost is kind of my thing" I reply smiling genuinely at him. "You told me I wasn't a monster and I believed you. Now it's your turn to believe me." I say stroking my thumb over his cheek. "Stop living in the past. The choices you make in the present are the one who matters for the future. You made bad choices? Who didn't? You're here now and you have the opportunity to make things right. Don't let that chance fade away. And about your origins, I couldn't care less. You are still the same person to me and that won't change. You are my closest friend and I can't lose you."

Loki is looking into my eyes, as if he's searching for any clue making him believe I just lied. But I didn't. I meant every single word I said. He must have come to the same conclusion because he slowly wraps his arms around me burying his face into my neck.

"Do you mind telling me what the argument with Thor really was about?" I ask Loki in a whisper. I'm scared of another outburst but I just need to know.

"The Allfather wants to put me back in my cell on Asgard" he answers in a low and cold voice.

I reply by holding him even closer to me, afraidto watch him disappear if I ever let him go.