Give up

Part 6

A few weeks have passed and I'm slowly recovering from my many injuries. I'm not ready to start my daily training again, but I can finally walk on my own. I still feel so weak sometimes, that I'm mostly staying in bedroom. I just walk out of the bathroom when I hear a knock on my door. Tony pups his head inside without even waiting for a response.

"Hey kiddo! How are you feeling today?" he asks while entering my room.

"I'm quite alright, thanks." I reply, giving him a reassuring smile. He looks nervous, I can tell. He's constantly clearing his throat as if he's struggling to find his words.

"Is there anything you wanted to tell me?" I ask, intending to help him speak up.

"Yeah, actually there is. I think it's best if you sit down first" he says, while gesture to my bed.

I narrow my eyes at him, trying to figure out what exactly is going on.

"You're freaking me out! Just tell me what's wrong" I press him, still standing in the middle of my room.

He clears his throat one last time before speaking.

"Your father contacted me earlier. He wants to meet with you here at the compound." He finally confesses, looking anywhere but me.

"Oh" is all I can answer. I slowly sit down on my bed, playing with my fingers out of nervousness. "Did he say why?"

"No, I'm sorry. He just told me it was an important matter. That's all." He answers, while sitting next to me. "The choice is all yours. Take your time to think it through." He advises, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I've been waiting for this moment for years now. I can't wait any longer." I turn my head to look into Tony's eyes. "Could you tell him to meet me this afternoon?"

"Of course, I can. Anything for you." He answers, giving me a hug. "I'm so happy for you" he says before standing up to leave the room.

I let myself fall onto my bed as soon as the door closes, smiling like an idiot. It's finally happening. I can go back to my previous life with my parents by my side.

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I'm pacing in the main living room for what feels like hours. The other avengers are sitting all across the room, watching me. Even Loki is sitting on a chair in the far corner, reading a book like he has no care in the world.

"Saralyn, you need to calm down. Everything is going to work perfectly fine." Bruce tries to comfort me.

"I know, it's just... I don't know... I'm so excited and really happy to know my father wants me back... It's just... I'm also scared to be disappointed. I dreamed of this moment so many times that I wouldn't bear to be pushed away." I confess, struggling to find my words.

"No one is going to push you away. Trust me, everything's going to be okay." Tony respond, smiling at me. I look at him and feel so much gratitude towards this man who gave me the chance to start a new life when I thought everything was lost. I walk towards him and wrap my arms around his middle to hug him. That's when I hear someone clearing his throat.

I slowly let go of Tony to face the person standing a few feet behind me. I can't help but stare. His face feels so familiar and yet so foreign at the same time. His hair is now slightly grey and he has more wrinkles around his eyes. Yet it still feels like I just left him yesterday. I wanted to run and trhow myself into his arms but I hold myself back. I don't want to scare him.

"Hello, father." I say in a small whisper.

"Hello, Saralyn" he replies, avoiding eye contact. I feel a little hurt by his attitude but I don't want to push him. Maybe he's just a little bit shy due to the strange situation we both find ourselves in.

"We should leave you two alone." Natasha suddenly says, while standing up. She's soon followed by the rest of the team.

"No, don't go!" my father suddenly screams, making us all look at him in surprise. "I mean, you can't stay if you'd like. You are all Saralyn's friend after all..." he adds in a more calmly but still shaky voice.

They all sit down again and I can see Natasha narrowing his eyes at him suspiciously. I decide to ignore it to concentrate on our conversation again.

"So, where is mother? Is she alright?" I ask, trying to change the topic.

"Your mother is alright but she couldn't come. I'm sorry." He responds, lowering his head to look at the ground.

"Oh". I must say I'm a bit disappointed. However, the excitement is still there and I can't contain myself any longer. "It's okay, I'm sure she's as excited as I am. I'm so happy to see you father. I can't wait to see our house again. Tell me, is my bedroom still pink? Oh god, I can't wait to go home and start to..."

"Saralyn, that's not why I'm here." My father suddenly interrupts me in my rambling. He finally looks up at me, handing me a paper. "I need you to sign this please."

I feel a knot in my stomach as I start reading the paper. Everything in the room felt silent. That's when it strikes me. My father wanted the avengers to stay in the room because he was scared to be alone with me. I'm slowly starting to feel sick as realisation settles in.

"Saralyn look, I'm sorry but I need to protect my family. I can't risk seeing you harm any of them. By signing these papers, I want to make sure that you'll never try to contact us again."

I feel like someone just punched me in the face. I want to wake up from this terrible nightmare. I just want these to be over. I walk to the countertop and sign the papers, handing them back to him without another word.

"I'm really sorry." He whispers before walking away.

"What's her name?" I ask, my voice void of any emotion. "What's my sister's name?"

He doesn't even look back at me as he steps into the elevator, the doors closing right after him.

The silence gets heavier as the seconds went by. No one knows what to say. The just sit there looking at me with a sad expression on their faces, waiting for my reaction. I'm standing there felling like a robot. I feel like darkness is slowing eating up my last emotions. That's when I lock eyes with Loki, still sitting in the corner with his book on his lap. His face is emotionless like a statue but I can see it in his eyes. The compassion he feels towards me for living the same rejection as he did. We are both unwanted child who tried their best to be loved by their family. What we didn't know was that it was already a long-lost battle.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I need some time alone to handle the storm in my head. I don't wait for the elevator, preferring to take the stairs. I jump into my car as I reach the ground floor. I drive as fast as I can until I reach a lake outside New York city. I found this peaceful place during a mission a long time ago. I step out of the car and wait until my legs are halfway into the water before screaming until my longs give out. I feel like something just broke inside of me as I let go of all my sadness.

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It's already late when I finally open the door to the library. My body is completely sore from all the crying and screaming. I feel so numb inside. It only took a few minutes to destroy all of my dreams. I can't seem to see the light in the depression I feel myself falling into. I just feel so alone and rejected. I stumble into the room and let myself down on the floor, my back against the couch. I bring my legs up to my chest and bury my face into my arms to keep me safe from the world.

I don't even hear the footsteps coming closer to me until they stop right next to me. Feeling a presence, I lift my head up to meet Loki's bright blue eyes. He sits himself down next to me and takes my hand to intertwine our fingers.

"Trust me, as long as I can call you my friend, you'll never be alone" he whispers slightly to me after long minutes of complete silence. Tears of relieve are making their way to my eyes as I hear these words. Loki and I are both uncommunicative people and we don't need words to know we are both there for each other. We both just stay there, watching the city lights while I'm still holding onto his hand for dear life.