Not That Bad

EIGHTEEN

By the time Ty finally arrived, Julian had already told Kaya the entire story.

He told her about how, for years, he had been expected to date Alison, that they were the "golden couple." That they were expected to get married, like in teen novels. That he'd been forced to hide himself again and again to fit into Alison's expectations. That he'd been forced back into the closet because Alison's parents were close-minded and wouldn't accept that Alison's boyfriend and future husband was bisexual.

That he'd been thinking about breaking up—for good—even before Kaya had arrived back in Layton, and that Alison's anxiety about Kaya had sped up the entire process because Kaya was just a convenient excuse. That, when they had briefly—privately—broken up in high school he'd hooked up with a guy from Gainey and he'd been so happy, and that, a few months ago he'd met another girl in another town that he could see himself marrying in the future, even though she barely knew that he existed. So, from what Kaya gathered, the two had had problems for years.

Julian told Kaya about the hours before she had arrived.

"Alison was ranting again," he said. "About how people were coming to the community center less and less, how her parents were on her about seeing grandchildren in the next few years, about how you disrupted all of her plans." He had looked up at Kaya then. "It wasn't the first time she'd ranted about you—you were her favorite subject."

"But I've done nothing," Kaya said.

"I know," Julian answered, "but you had arrived here right after Alison became the director. Suddenly, everyone was talking about you, about how you were prettier than you were when you left and that you didn't depend on your parents to define your future. Lots of the petty gossip that happens here, but Alison took it personally."

"Oh." Things that Kaya didn't care about, as she had been wallowing in self-pity and trying to avoid people that didn't treat her and her mother well when she was younger.

"Yeah. And as she was ranting, I realized that I was really and truly tired of it. I had been tired of it for years, but suddenly I thought 'this can't be the rest of my life.' I can't marry Alison, can't hide who I am, can't pretend to care about her or her family anymore. And so I told her that we're done and I walked out of her house. She chased me out of course, but I pulled away from her and she didn't stop me. Then I came here."

There was a brief silence after Julian finished that was interrupted when Ty burst in, hair flying and photography bag on. He took one look at Julian and sighed. Once he put his bag down, Julian had started looking more uncomfortable than ever.

"What happened?" Ty asked, his voice no-nonsense.

Julian glanced quickly at Kaya and then back at Ty. Taking the hint, Kaya walked out of her living room and went to make up the guest room. If it was anything like she had thought, then Julian would need a place to stay for the time being and Ty's apartment only had one bedroom. She knew that Julian had his own place, but he'd shared it with Alison and the apartment was in her father's name. Julian needed to find somewhere else to live, but there was nowhere else for him for the time being.

After cleaning the guest room and checking up on the men, Kaya went to her room and unpacked her clothes. The unpacking was methodical and mechanic, as she had unpacked her clothes many times before when she and Augusta moved from state to state. It gave her time to think; until Julian could find his own place—staying with his family was out of the option, according to him and a majority of his things were at Alison's apartment—and storage. There would be an uptick in her bills: groceries, lights, etc., and she would need to make the man a key so that he didn't have to wait for her to let him back in.

Then, there was the idea of rent. She'd hate to charge him, but Julian was the type of guy to feel as if any good deed done to him must be paid back in the form of monetary gifts, and Kaya was not about that life. She'd have to find some way to make sure he kept his money rather than give it to her. If things were going to hell, he'd need to save all the money that he could.

There was also her clientele. The biggest guest bedroom was her makeshift office, so she'd obviously have to move all of her equipment. She couldn't put everything in the other guest room, as that was already full of things that she'd thrown in there when she first moved in.

With that in mind, her mind roved to Ty's now-empty studio. Business had picked up and his list of clients was getting more extensive, so he needed a bigger place and had moved, though he still owned the building that the studio was in. If Ty let her, she could move all of her filming equipment there and create a little office out of the studio. And since Ty had been pushing her to start her own business, it would be good to have a defined office.

A knock on her doorframe broke her from her reverie.

"Hey," Julian said, sounding a bit sheepish. His shoulders were hunched over and he wasn't looking at her. "I was wondering if it would be alright if I could stay here for a bit. I'm not a noisy roommate and I could—"

"It's fine," Kaya said, interrupting him and smiling. "I don't mind. I just have to move some things out of the guest room tomorrow and it's all yours."

Julian smiled, though she could tell it was a fake one. His real smile showed his dimples and this smile was a bit dim. Distantly, she wondered when his smile—any smile of his—stopped making her heart race, but pushed that thought to the back of her mind. The man had just broken up with his girlfriend.

"Thank you," he said. "Um...I'll be sleeping on Ty's couch tonight, so you don't have to worry about me. I'm getting my things from Alison's place tomorrow and his place is closer."

"Okay," Kaya answered. "But you don't have to tell me that."

"I know." He rubbed the back of his neck. "It's just...weird. A good ten years of my life was dedicated to her and it's all just over. I feel like I'm dreaming."

"Good dream or bad?"

"I don't know yet. My entire livelihood was tied to Alison and her family and I just..." Julian pulled his hand from his neck and placed it in his pocket. "I just wanted to say thank you."

"You said needed a friend," Kaya said. "I'm glad that I could be one." She smiled. "Maybe we can make up for lost time, now."