You Can't Be Too Careful [Star Trek/Leonard "Bones" McCoy Love Story]

[32.] The Inevitability of Bleeding

A/N:

Hi guys.

I know.

A month.

I suck.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I love you all, I swear. <3

Please refer to my profile to see what's up with my new writing/life schedule. I hope you all are having a fantabulous day.

This one's for MackMartin. Thanks so much for reading!

(ALSO PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONG BECAUSE IT'S GREAT HOLY DANG)

[32] The Inevitability of Bleeding

            I sat in my cap and gown, feeling completely surreal.

            I was surrounded by hundreds of other graduates, but I still felt that there was a spotlight on me. Before us was a sea of bodies: family and friends and acquaintances who had come to support us as we moved to our next stage of life. Our commanders were reciting all of their formal goodbyes, but I didn’t hear a single word of the entire ceremony. I was too focused on listening to the sound of my heartbeat in my ears.

            The event dragged on slowly. I couldn’t help but to nervously tap my foot or twiddle my thumbs or pick at my dress to keep myself distracted. I continually looked through the crowd to see if I could catch sight of Leonard or Astrid or Uncle Scott, but I couldn’t see them anywhere. I let out a small sigh of frustration. I knew I would feel better about receiving my accomplishment if I could witness my friends seeing it. Yes, I was happy to finally receive my diploma, but for whatever reason, I felt alone on the stage.

            I hadn’t slept at all the night before. I was so unbelievably excited to be graduating, but as I thought more and more about it, the less ecstatic I became. I wouldn’t deny it: I was scared of the future. I knew I was being stupid; everything in my life was finally falling into place. It was like a dream come true everywhere I looked. I had my best friend of twenty-four years supporting me as always, a fantastic crew to work alongside with, an adopted uncle who loved me as much as he loved his actual niece, and the best man I could ever ask to have. And yet, I was petrified.

            The future had always scared me, but this was different. When I was scared for high school as a middle school student, I knew I had high school to be anxious about.  As a high school student anxious about college, I at least knew that all I had to do was worry about college. In college, I knew that all I really had to worry about was college itself. But now that I was leaving, I had nothing to look to. I didn’t know what turn my life would take after this. There were so many paths my life could go down, it was impossible to have a single one to focus on and worry about. The future had never been more uncertain. And this ceremony was what would clinch my inescapable uncertainty.

            Finally, the moment I had been dreading arrived. The commanders began to call the names of students so that they might step forward and officially receive their degree. Each name slipped by like the tick of the hands on a clock. Emma Abbot. Tick. Henry House.  Tick. Jolie Kyle. Tick. George Marshall. Tick. Hannah Ross. Tick. Seth Sardon. Tick.

            And then my name was called.

            “Lieutenant Catherine Elizabeth Taylor,” Commander Haines announced. Shaking, I stood from seat and crossed the stage to where he was standing, desperately hoping I wouldn’t trip and snap my neck in my heels.