care less more『 jikook 』

seven

jimin couldn't remember when it happened. it must've been one of the nights they spent together laying in bed. it must've been during one of the dates they went on. was it the arcade? was it the movies? was it the amusement park? the virtual reality place? was it the boat? the flying lanterns festival? the concerts? jimin really couldn't pinpoint the exact moment his heart started beating so loudly for jeon jeongguk. he didn't want it. he didn't want the pain that would come in loving someone so truly. 

but it was that one night when jimin finally realized he couldn't run away from jeongguk or his feelings for the said boy. it was that one night when jimin's legs were wrapped around jeongguk's waist as jeongguk kept thrusting into him ever so slowly. they stared at each other for way too long without saying anything, not even smiling. until jeongguk broke that silence.

JEONGGUK
"do you want me to go harder, baby?"

jimin slowly shook his head. 

JIMIN
"no, i like this."

he then pulled jeongguk by his nape and kissed him on his lips. they kissed for so long, the moment they separated, it was only to catch their breath. 

JIMIN
"jeongguk...i think i need to tell you."

JEONGGUK
"tell me what, baby?"

JIMIN
"i love you."

that one sentence that jimin wished he could take back. he didn't regret it the second he said it. but he did a few days later when jeongguk started ghosting him. when jeongguk never came back to the bar or answered any of his calls.

how cruel of jeongguk to say it back only to leave jimin like that. 

how cruel was it that he smiled and acted like it was the happiest moment of his life when really, he must've hated it. he must've loathed jimin once he heard those words come out of his mouth. because why on earth would he have left? if he was happy? if he really did love jimin back? why did he hurt him like that?

in most breakups, one person cares and the other doesn't. one person drowns themself in unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, drinking or smoking, probably even having sex with random strangers almost every single day just to dull the pain...or maybe to feel a little bit alive. 

while the other person lives their life like nothing happened.