Chapter 4.3 - History

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Light from the new day made the inside of Shaleh and Nurlan's small tent glow. Shaleh hid her eyes under the blanket so she could sleep for a few more minutes. Nurlan's arm lay across her waist. He was warm and breathing slowly so she gently pushed her back against his chest to soak up some of his warmth and willed herself to sleep. After a few minutes of screwing her eyes shut she decided it was a waste of time and pushed her head back out of the blanket.

"Go back to sleep," Nurlan mumbled.

"I can't," she said. "Once I'm awake, I'm awake."

"You are an impossible woman," he complained. "Can't you at least be still so one of us can sleep?"

She rolled over to face him. "Me, impossible?" she laughed. "You're the one who keeps me awake with your snoring."

"I don't snore," he smiled.

"Everyone knows you snore, they're just too polite to tell you."

"Rubbish. Anyway, now that you've woken me up too I might as well get up." Nurlan started to roll out of bed, but Shaleh grabbed his shoulder.

"No! Stop! You're letting the cold in! Just lie still and talk for awhile."

Nurlan pulled the blankets back over himself and rolled towards her.

"Good idea," he said. "I have been wanting to ask your opinion about something," he said

"Yes?"

"We should reach the Astaevka clan today or tomorrow. How do you think we should approach them?"

"You actually want to know my opinion?"

"Yes. You were right when you said that I don't give you enough respect when it comes to making plans. You know the Astaevka clan better than I do, so what do you think?"

Shaleh smiled and thought for a moment.

"We need to be strong and appeal to their pride. Chief Erasyl and his son Rustam both value strength and fighting skills above anything else. If we show them fear or doubt we will lose their respect and they will probably not join us. They are also very proud, to the extent of being arrogant. It would be very foolish of us to humiliate them in any way. A few years ago Alam beat Rustam in a wrestling match. He took it very badly, he pouted and kicked like a child. And to make matters worse I hear his father beat him for losing. On the other hand, if we are able to puff up their pride, without it seeming like flattery, it might work well for us."

Nurlan slid his arm under Shaleh head and drew closer to her. He rested his other arm on her waist and stroked her back. A sly smile crept onto his face. "You look very beautiful this morning," he whispered.

"Are you even listening to me?" she chuckled and pushed him gently back. "I thought you said you respected my thoughts and wanted to listen to me?"

"I am listening," he grinned as he tried to move closer to her. "I am able to both look at you and respect you at the same time."

"I find that very hard to believe!" she laughed as she tried to wrestle the arm off her waist.

"Are you saying I'm a liar?!?" he asked in mock indignation.

"The biggest liar in the world!"

He leaned his head in and rubbed his short beard on the base of her neck before kissing her below the ear.

"Ah! That tickles!" she wriggled.

"If my kisses tickle, feel free to kiss me instead," he closed his eyes and moved his lips towards her.

She took his face in her hands and caressed his cheeks with her thumbs.

A shadow passed in front of their small tent followed by polite tapping on the felt of the door flap.

"Nurlan, are you awake?" It was Serik's voice.

Both Shaleh and Nurlan slumped in disappointment with the interruption.

"Of course I am awake, as you plainly know," answered Nurlan.

"The day has started," Serik stated.

Nurlan sighed. "I will be out soon."

Shaleh echoed his sigh. She then wriggled closer to him and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Good morning," she whispered.

"It could have been a great morning," Nurlan grumbled. "Shaleh?"

"Yes?"

He brought his lips to her ear.

"I love you."

Shaleh moved her head back and looked at his eyes.

"That is the first time you've said it. Do you really? You're not just trying to make it 'a great morning' by sweet talking me?"

"I mean it. Love can come slowly in arranged marriages, if it ever come at all, and I don't expect you to love me yet, but I have come to love you. I feel privileged and blessed to have you as my wife."

Shaleh stroked the side of his head and placed her lips on his.

"I wish we could lie here all morning, but we can't," Nurlan sighed again, jerked the covers off of both of them and stood up. The cold rushed in.

"Hey!" Shaleh complained. "That wasn't nice!"

"I never said I was 'nice'," he smirked as he picked up his trousers.

Shaleh stood up and instantly regretted it. A wave of nausea hit her. Her stomach clenched. She desperately scanned the room until she saw an empty bowl. She rushed over and threw up into it.

"Are you alright?" Nurlan asked.

"I really don't know what's wrong with me. This is the fourth day in a row I've been sick. Most of the time I'm fine, I don't have a fever or anything else."

"Can you think of no other explanation?" Nurlan smiled. He stepped over to her and patted her belly gently.

"You think I'm pregnant?" she whispered fiercely. "Already? I can't be. We've only been married a couple of moons."

"All that is needed is one night. Yes. I think you're pregnant, but for now let's keep it a between the two of us." He knelt in front of her and kissed her stomach.

Shaleh's heart started beating faster.

Pregnant? It can't be.

I don't want to be pregnant.

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