Moonwatcher; Soonhoon

05

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THEY'RE WATCHING COSMOS, because it's one of the best documentaries known to man, and Soonyoung will always insist on that. It's just a fact, he says. Nothing compares to Neil deGrasse Tyson talking about outer space, and it's a fact.

"You've told me this already," Jihoon says, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth while Soonyoung folds himself up on the couch. "Just hit play."

This time, Jihoon's being spared the agony of having to watch Carl Sagan talk about astronomy for nearly thirteen hours straight - Soonyoung figured they wouldn't marathon, for once - but other than that, it's really no different to what they usually do. Soonyoung's terribly close to Jihoon, glancing at him more often than what's happening on screen, and his heart is racing, and it's no different.

It used to not always be like this, though. Like when they were younger. Like when Soonyoung could wrap his arms around Jihoon, pull him close, rest legs on top of legs and a head against his shoulder without it knotting his lungs; like when they were kids, and kids didn't know the difference between holding hands and chaste kisses and Soonyoung hadn't realized that it wasn't entirely normal to feel for his best friend the way he did.

That's how it was. Now, and for a while now, it's all just been a flurry of nerves - but he still likes their little tradition, even if he does sort of feel like vomiting every other minute. It's not all too awful. Like vomiting butterflies, maybe? He's not really sure.

Anyways, yeah. Legs on legs and heads on shoulders. Whatever.

Jihoon is making it especially difficult for him today, being especially warm. And it's sort of the worst thing ever? Like, for every gentle touch and soft breath and stop moving, I'm comfortable he endures, Soonyoung's also getting his heartstrings stepped all over, and it's the worst thing ever.

"Do you want something to drink?" he asks. His mouth is dry, and he needs an excuse to get away for like, two seconds. Two seconds to breathe without the feeling of Jihoon's eyelashes tickling his arm, and he'll be fine.

But Jihoon shakes his head and his grip tightens, and that plan goes out the window.

"You're pretty clingy today," Soonyoung grins. "Kind of weird. Weren't you the one who told me I have attachment issues, that one time?"

Jihoon grumbles something that sounds like, "As if you hate it," squeezing his eyes shut and practically nuzzling against Soonyoung. The latter very nearly chokes on his own saliva, and it's all he can do to hope the heat spreading over his cheeks isn't noticeable.

"Yeah," he says, and the word comes out sounding like gravel. "I don't."

Neither one of them says anything after that, but Soonyoung gets the feeling he isn't the only one who's not paying attention to the TV. He's not surprised at himself - of the few, few things more important to him than Neil and space, Jihoon has definitely proven to be one of them - but he can't help wondering what the other boy is thinking.

"Something on your mind?" he asks. He's got one arm slung around Jihoon's shoulder, fingers fidgeting with the cuff of his sleeve. He can feel the boy hesitating.

"Er, yeah, actually. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you love me?"

And like that, Soonyoung's fidgeting stops. His fingers freeze against the heat of Jihoon's skin, pulse suddenly skyrocketing. He laughs breathily and tries to keep his eyes trained on the screen in front of him.