The Soundtrack (CHANGKI✔️)

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[ track ten ]

As he had promised, it doesn't take a month for Hyungwon to return to the library just for Changkyun. He usually shows up each evening after his shift at a bar a few blocks from campus, but he stays far later than he usually would just for an opportunity to speak with the young desk clerk alone. It's an eager anticipation that rests in his stomach as he watches the younger from afar, practically infatuated already after only a few words exchanged prior to this moment.

After only a three day span of waiting to approach Changkyun, Hyungwon makes his move as soon as he spots the chipper blonde beside the boy leave for a moment. Practically bounding over with a full wallet and a painfully broad grin, Hyungwon cannot wait to chat the younger up. Hyungwon has been endlessly searching for something to call his for months now, his last relationship leaving him empty and shelled. He aches to be held and loved again.

"Hey," however, is all he can say when he makes it to the checkout desk with a lack of books to checkout. He feels his olive cheeks burn and can only hope that the dim lighting is enough to hide his flush.

Changkyun, with his eyes down as he reads from a collection of poems, lifts his head with a smile of his own. While his head is muddled with dark memories of Kihyun, as it often is, Hyungwon's devilish grin is reason enough to ignore his own thoughts for just a short time. "Hey yourself," the younger lets out in a quick breath, tucking a paper between his book's pages before closing it.

The younger looks Hyungwon up and down, and the tall man almost blushes harder in the assumption that he's being appraised, but his smile falters just a bit when Changkyun speaks again. "I don't see any books. Here to pay your late fee?"

Though slightly discouraged, Hyungwon nods and tugs his wallet from his back pocket. He makes a grand show of plucking out each individual bill, his eyes shining when he earns a chiming laugh from the younger. "Do you think I could pay a little bit forward? To make up for future late fees?" Hyungwon asks curiously, leaning his arms on the counter to look at Changkyun just a little closer. The younger truly is gorgeous, and it almost has Hyungwon preening to climb over the counter and claim those thick lips as his. Almost.

The younger freezes under those gems of pitch. Hyungwon's eyes are so dark, Changkyun cannot tell if he is all pupil, or all iris. So many swirls of black and brown run together, the smallest streaks of hazel sizzling through just to accent the olive skin that encompasses them. Changkyun could stare at the man's eyes all day as if they were his favorite book; always with something new to discover.

"That's not really something we do," Changkyun replies slowly, forcing his eyes away from Hyungwon's as he feels his cheeks flush. He isn't looking for a reason to seem childish or flirty, but his dastardly cheeks refuse to let him live a decent life.

Hyungwon chuckles, lying his wallet over the counter beside his arms before dropping his voice so as not to be heard by passing students. "Then how about you just let me pay to take you out sometime?"

And so it begins.

Their relationship isn't a slow one, as Changkyun had always taken to as a teenager. Even with friendships, he would take a long time before developing enough trust to speak of himself or his troubles. But with Hyungwon, he feels like he can open up about nearly anything. They spend countless hours talking, laughing, rushing about, and hiding out.

And though it is certainly fun, Changkyun still knows that this is only a distraction. This whirlwind Hyungwon has given him, while wildly romantic at the best of times, and horridly lust-filled at the worst of times, cannot erase the past that Changkyun still holds so tightly in his fist.

No matter how many times Hyungwon can sweep the younger up in a kiss, or impress him with a poem he'd written himself, nothing can fully remove the lingering thoughts of Kihyun from Changkyun's mind. Nothing can help the young man that fell so helplessly in love seven years ago. And nothing can help the poor man that's fallen so desperately in love now.

Changkyun can recognize that it's a tragic love story. One that any cliche author could write about and make millions from. The young, pain-wrought darkness, is in love with the ex-lover who basks in the lime-light. The new, dangerously exciting and handsome Hyungwon is unknowingly caught in the crossfire between a love like war. Everybody is at risk, yet nobody backs away.

Even Kihyun, who'd learned of Changkyun's work arrangements from his manager, knows full and well what is going on between the younger and his shiny new toy. He has made several trips to the university library in the three weeks since he's known where his ex is working, and each time has been filled with the sickening sights of the pair pawing at one another. Holding, tugging, kissing, gazing.

It all makes the pink-haired lad sick to his stomach; the foul taste in his mouth isn't easily removed, and he often considers just throwing up so he can at least have a reason to feel so retched. He knows he shouldn't be so hurt by Changkyun after so many years apart. Especially not if Changkyun is happy. Kihyun himself should be glad that the younger can finally smile without him there.

But he can't fight the gnawing pain in his chest each time he spots the pair together.

While the pink-haired man grows weak, Changkyun himself cannot claim to grow stronger with Hyungwon by his side. Happier, perhaps, but he's still the weakened boy he was left as years ago. He still gets scared when Hyungwon asks about things he did when he was younger. How could he explain that he'd been an absolute wreck before the love of his life saved him?

How could he even begin to explain that the love of his life had left him as an even worse wreck when he was gone?

Though they are a pair, and Hyungwon cannot help but careen into a ditch each time the younger smiles up at him, Changkyun cannot settle. His heart is restless, and his mind wanders. He cannot give all his attention to the older, and though he understands why, he doesn't want to admit it. The last words he'd spoken to Kihyun still ring true.

He doesn't regret saying them; he only regrets the fact that they were a lie.

The only thing you can have back now is what's left of my love, because I don't want it, and I never did.

Changkyun wonders often, if Kihyun could see him now, would he recognize the sparks of pain that flicker over his face each time Hyungwon wraps his arms around his middle? Would the pink-haired man know what Changkyun was thinking each time Hyungwon whispered the proper words of a lover in his ear?

Would Kihyun even care?