Such A Delicate Thing

he was fucked up like me

at first

our intertwined hands were stained with red
because we ripped each other's hearts out
i ate his broken pieces and he ate mine

our bruised bodies collided like disturbed galaxies
i took his virginity to the Milky Way
my tongue explored every dying planet in his holy mouth
and he learned to belong inside my world

our dark humor laughed at our suicide attempts
we smiled when we cried
i licked his blood and he licked mine
we hated ourselves but we loved each other for three months
and the next three my heart beat faded
but those first 91 days and hours to minutes to seconds i never counted were engulfed with my mouth on his
our cold knives piercing warm skins
we were better than the medicine
we were fucked up

we found each other as we wandered around the Earth
utterly lost
i had never met anyone who wanted to die as much as me
and we were both terrifyingly comforted by that fact
we looked at each other with dead eyes and smiles that pulsed
hoping we could leave the planet and live on the outside for awhile

then

he was a wise tree that bloomed flowers and grew fruit
but like everything else during winter time, he died
i blinked and he was just the surplus
a glorified skeleton
his colorless flowers were withered
the tasteless fruit was rotten and bitter
i started to see his bad seed
and i got bored

before

i met him with my eyes closed and my arms wide open
my dumb heart aching and selfish womanhood begging
my burns crying for a kiss to make it all better
to make the pain a little easier
and the time a bit faster

he looked at me for the first time with full eyes and an empty heart
his bleeding fists at my neck and his cries on my shoulder
his words cutting his lips and his history weighing him down
and i was supposed to make the pain a little easier
and the time a bit faster
and his demands met with no objections
his sex executed when ordered
his smile over my tears
why the fuck did it matter when he was the only boy who ever called me beautiful?
his damned soul like mine
his cursed eyes
his happiness against my fear
could i really lay next to him with the urge to slit his throat?
his awful beauty
his greatest ugly
was it crazy i sometimes fantasized those words he'd said pouring from his jugular and choking his mouth?
his way
his galaxy

so

  i disconnected our merging universes
and blocked him on instagram

end