Such A Delicate Thing

evil alter

i would give you crystal streams of blue that flowed from and to
the brightest parts of the sun that would shine just for you
a sky of cerulean that never turned to ash and gray
singing birds and pale clouds that never rained

but you're unworthy, girl
an ugly coward should not deserve a perfect world

so let the anchor above pour and flood your dirty lake
there's no sun to dry it up
so drown in your tears and your desperate prayers fade
because i have confiscated your mind
my voice is smoke in your ears
clouding your head and gagging you with your fears
i'll give all those memories of trauma from your mama'
remember all those times you were so scared?

i'll write down those stupid stupid things you said that will make you cringe and wince
i love it when you hate yourself
it's such an inconvenience

you wonder if i was ever created by the devil
though you watered me like a flower and
i bloomed to life
you didn't know that i'd be stronger
that i'd crash all your parties with a whisper
to remind you that you're nothing

bleed crimson; burn white
cry yourself to sleep
don't worry darling, i'll be gone by sunrise
i'll crawl out of your skin
coal emanating from my body
waves of relief washing over your tainted soul
but itching your bone
because you know i'll be back to scratch it
hold onto your heart all you want,
you're still the one who breaks it

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

hi! i felt like this one needed a bit of an explanation?
so this poem is spoken from that awful, insecure and evil part of me. i don't know how to explain it very well it just happens when i'm sad or randomly.. it's also a part of my anxiety that just ruins my day or mood.
i think this is pretty common in a lot of people though.
during a panic attack, this is the side of me that tells me to shut the fuck up and stop being a coward and just makes the attack worse.
the beginning is kind of me teasing myself and saying i could be beautiful and confident but for that to be true, i have to believe it and it's a big dramatic metaphor.
so yeah, this is a way i talk to myself sometimes and this was a way of me expressing that.?

thanks so much for taking the time to read my writing! ❤️