finally ; vkook

About The Story

Hey everyone,

It's currently 4 in the morning and I just got the urge to let you know what was going on in my head when I wrote this story, so here we go.

There's not a lot to say about the beginning. It was something I loved writing, showing and telling the continuation of Jungkook and Taehyung's love story.

A few chapters in, though, I admittedly stopped updating this for a very long time. At the beginning it was mostly due to how busy I was with life; school, friends, family. Sometimes I'd have time and update maybe a chapter once in a few months. I know I definitely would've dropped the story if it wasn't for all the "please update" comments and I'm eternally grateful to you for giving me motivation and inspiration to finish this trilogy.

Now, onto the not so happy stuff. When I first started writing this, I wasn't planning to have Hoseok die. I had last updated a few months before and I was in a very bad place in summer 2016. I don't want to go too much into details but I was pretty depressed and then my mom's best friend's dog died, who I loved very much. And a few weeks later, my grandmother died after having been in the hospital since January 2016, and I was devastated. I loved my grandmother very much and I could not imagine my life without her and it's still hard to talk about it.

So, at that time I had no other way to cope with my feelings so I decided to write. And my feelings influenced my writing heavily. I was sad, depressed, felt overall shitty so I impulsively decided to kill Hobi off. At first it was going to be Jungkook or Tae but then I decided I couldn't do that to you; or myself. At that time, I was also obsessed with the yoonmin ship so I was planning to start another story about yoonmin following the events of 'Finally'. It would've been about Jimin accepting Hoseok's death and learning to love again.

But as you can see, that never happened. Because I hit rock bottom just a short while after I published the last chapter of 'Finally' and I didn't think I could ever write again. And I didn't, until two months ago.

Summer 2016 was a bad time for me. 2017 was amazing but I still didn't have it in me to be able to write anything, though I felt I was very close.

Then, on February 5th this year, my beloved dog died unexpectedly. And I was back to square one. I couldn't get out of bed for a while, I could barely eat or sleep, all I did 24/7 was watch funny tv series so I could stop crying even if just for a short moment. Her death affected me so badly, she'd been my best friend and most loyal friend for 10 years and I loved her with every fiber of my being and I still do. I miss her very much. But I've learned to accept that she's gone and to be happy about the great life she had.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

After that, this year was amazing in every sense of the word. I've made new friends (looking at you, boo ;> ), on June 10th, we adopted a cute little puppy who is seven months old today. On July 28th, we went back to London for 5 days and it was a really good time, especially because I got to see Hamilton The Musical on July 31st. I believe that was the happiest I'd been in over a year. Everything was great. I got tickets to see Twenty One Pilots in February. I was happy.

Slowly, after the summer ended and it was time for school again, I tried to keep that happy mood. I started writing again, finally, and I think I did a pretty good job on rewriting 'Diary'. Then I started rewriting 'Once Again' and it was fine until those bad feelings came creeping up on me again. I became depressed again for no reason and I'm probably going to see a therapist again soon. I don't like times like this and I wish I could go back to summer but this is life and it's not always happy.

I've definitely gone way off-topic here but I just wanted to explain why I decided what happened in this story and what went through my head while I sat down and wrote it. Thinking back, if I were to write this story in my current mindset, I wouldn't kill Hobi. However, when (if?) I'm going to rewrite this, I will because it's the story and I'm not changing it now that it is the way it is because I'm still proud of this work. It's sad but it's real and I love it.

Thank you for reading this even if it's mostly just my stupid rambling, I love all of you who read my stories, vote and comment even if I don't always reply to you and I'm so sorry about that. Please know that I do appreciate you all but in the end I'm only a 16 year old teenager who sometimes can't even get out of bed in the morning.

Love, the author