Ellie is Cool Now

Chapter 26

Mark drops me off at my parents' house, planting a light kiss at the corner of my mouth. We're too tired to drag out the goodbye, so we say good night and he promises to call me in the morning.

I drag my weary body to the bed and literally fall into the deepest sleep of all time thanks to one of the longest days of my life — and I'm a staff writer on a major network television show. Long days are my norm. But this one was draining.

Confusing.

Exhilarating.

In the morning, Mom and I play cards and drink Folgers Classic Roast, sitting around talking until we really can't call it morning anymore. I finally force myself up off the couch and into the shower.

I have to call Andy.

I loathe to call Andy, but the whole thing with Rachel left a bad taste in my mouth. I have to tell him I can't finish the list.

With every item I tick off, I grow more aware of how ridiculous this whole quest really is. These are real people. I can't meddle with their lives like I do the characters in a TV show for the entertainment of a room full of Hollywood writers. When I look over the three superlatives left on the list, I know deep down that I'm ready to let go of the past once and for all.

My phone buzzes. Andy Biermann is calling.

"How's my favorite field agent?" Andy asks.

"She's made a decision," I reply. I'm sitting at my vanity in my childhood bedroom, staring into the mirror at my own eyes. Don't wimp out.

"Decisive protagonists make for good storytelling," Andy says, ever comparing my real life to TV.

"I am not finishing the list." I clench my jaw in determination. I will not wobble.

"You're not?" There's an edge to his voice – like ice sculpted into a sword. "We had a deal."

"This is not how it was supposed to be. Emma Lovett has cancer – she lost all her hair, and I'm supposed to have better hair? Jesus. And Rachel, fuck. I haven't even filled you in on number four yet, but let's just say we almost had to call in the five-O."

There's stony silence on the other end of the call.

"Andy, I get it. We're all human. My cynical heart is forever changed." I roll my eyes at myself in the mirror.

"Then come home," he says, his tone indiscernible. "Now."

"What?" I ask, jolted by the sudden and strong desire to shout No and hang up on him.

My stomach immediately knots up.

Go back to LA? Without figuring out the Mark of it all?

"You're there to accomplish the list for the purpose of our show. If you no longer want to do that because you grew a conscience, then fine." He pauses, and I imagine him stroking his Spielberg beard. "Come home."

"And the co-EP job?" I ask, suddenly single-minded again.

"It's yours," he says. I imagine he shrugs. "I was always going to give you the job, Ellie. I just wanted to make sure you wanted it. This show isn't what you came to LA to write — I get it, but you're talented and I'm possessive of talent when I find it."

For a second, I feel like I'm floating, then like I'm about to vomit.

Until finally I go hot with all-consuming rage.