Intertwined and Unexpected

Chapter 17: Amberlynn

Walking into my bedroom, I slide my closet door open, and look at the clothes. Tonight was the last party before the Winter Ball, my last chance to scrape the bowl for potential votes.

I sift through all my clothes, and am torn between a black sequin tank top, or a plain red dress with a bow in the back. Feeling girly, I hang back up the tank top and lay the dress across my bed, and begin searching my room for the black ballet flats I own.

After putting the dress on, I begin the brush out my hair and straighten it, making all of it stay down. Then I put on red lipstick that matched the dress. As an after thought, I put on a plain black blazer, because it was after all, winter.

I decide to leave a note for my family letting them know that I'd gone out, that I'd be back at 12, and that I have my cell in case something bad happens.

I close the front door behind me softly, and start to walk towards Chloe's house; I wanted to make sure that she knew the party was tonight.

I knock on her front door, and I hear someone yelling on the phone. I back away slightly, and then, being nosy, press my ear against the door, eavesdropping.

"Dad, I can't believe you!" Someone shouts. Chloe, I assume. "Tonight is the my first high school party, and you're making me go with you on some stupid minigolf course!" She is fully aware there is a party, then, just... she can't go? It's her boyfriend's party, her dad shouldn't make her do something if she doesn't want to.

There's silence behind the door for a minute. Would I be going to this party with only Henry? That seemed kind of sad to me. Usually I have at least 5 other people coming with me inside. I guess life had changed.

I can barely make out the next words, because Chloe has lowered her voice."You can't make me do this."

More silence.

I hear Chloe groan, and hang up the phone. I back away from the door quickly, and try knocking one more time.

She opens the door, "Sorry about that. I can't go to the party, my dad's taking my for frozen yogurt and minigolf. I'm sorry. Let Liam know what's up. I'll see you later. Bye."

Chloe closes the door, not letting me say a single word.

I stare at the door for a moment, trying not to get upset. It's not hear fault her dad is making her do this tonight, I think, she doesn't even want to go with him, not now, not tonight.

My feet begin moving from beneath me before I know it, leading me towards Liam's house, towards the party that my future so heavily relies on. If I didn't win Winter Queen... My life was basically over. This was my goal. My single, my only, my one goal in life, was to succeed in high school. Maybe my life as an adult will be great too, but for now, I want to live in the present, not the past or future. I was to life now.

The moon rising in the sky, and street lights flickering on. I approach Liam's house carefully, wondering if I came too early.

I certainly was not too early. The music blaring loud, cups being held in the air of his living room, the noise of video games and Foosball being played, the smell of salty chips and pretzels. This was a great party, I could tell already.

I open the front door, and the crowd dancing cheers for me. I do a small bow, and they continue dancing. I spot someone in front of the kitchen counter, giving out beer in clear, plastic cups.

My body goes rigid. If I get caught at this party, a party with alcohol, I will not only be grounded for the rest of my high school life, but also be cut from the track team. For a moment I question if I should stay at this party, but soon enough I see Henry, and it's clear he's wasted.

I have to stay, I think to myself. I have to take care of Henry.

I begin fighting through the crowd of people, saying hi to a few people I know, accepting compliments, but all the while trying my hardest to get to the kitchen. I finally get out of the crowd, and look for Henry in the kitchen. But the only people in here are Chrismas, who's handing out beer, Liam talking to a boy I didn't know, and Alexi making out with some dumb boy.

Wait a second -- were my eyes wrong -- I hadn't had anything to drink -- I can't believe it -- that stupid, twat --

I feel myself meet the cold tile of the kitchen. My thoughts turn into tangled messes. My heart was breaking itself apart. The noise of the party diminished, and all that was left was the feeling of betrayal, the feeling of hatred, and the feeling of heartbreak.

If you've never had a broken heart, let me tell you. Imagine that everything you are, everything you've ever been, was contained in a simple glass jar. Each memory you have was a different shape, all small, all made of glass. From your piano recital in the third grade, a yellow star, because you and your parents were so proud. From your first sleepover, a red flashlight, because you all went on a scavenger hunt in the dark.

From your first love, a pink heart. From your first date, a pink heart. From your first kiss, a pink heart. From your first time staring into someone eyes like nothing else in the world mattered, a pink heart.

A pink heart.

Now imagine that in all these small, glass pieces, is the feeling you had when that memory happened.

You quit piano in 6th grade. The yellow star shatters, giving you the opposite feeling that was encased, feeling unimportant, and this feeling of unimportance is amplified by how many recitals you'd been to.

Your first love, first kiss, first date, your first, you catch them. You catch them cheating on you, not even with someone who's worth it, but someone who is petty and ignorant and immature.

The pink hearts shatter, leaving the jar empty.

Your heart empty.

Noise begins to slowly filter in. I hear someone screaming, someone sobbing, someone making noises I didn't even know were human. I realize that the someone is me

Everyone from the party is staring at me. The music is turned off. I turn to face Henry and Alexi, my eyes brimmed with tears.

I stand slowly, adjusting my dress, and walk over to Henry, finally, after a long time of looking for him.

I look him in the eyes, his sweet adorable eyes, eyes that I could've stared into forever. Empty eyes. He didn't know who I was. I keep a hard look on my face as I slap him across his face. He recoils, and looks at me again, this time with understanding.

"Amberlynn," he starts, almost sounding sober.

I hold my hand up, and shake my head slowly. "You're not worth it anymore."

The sound of my voice hung in the air. No one was moving or even whispering, they were just watching the couple they had all wanted together, break up.

I spun on my heel, and the crowd parted before me, like the Red Sea, and walk out the door, my head held high, knowing that as soon as I left, the music would turn on, food would be eaten, drinks drunk, people dancing, and at the end of the night, I would be the only one feeling any kind of pain.

I am the only one feeling the only kind of pain. The pain of a thousand soldiers deaths, the pain of the wives of those soldiers. A fight that was lost before it had begun.

I walk out of the front door, and slam it closed. The music picks up almost instantly. I was already forgotten.

Feeling forgotten made me want to run somewhere. Anywhere. I take off my shoes, and run barefoot on the sidewalk, the pavement scratching at the bottoms of my feet. My face was wet quickly with sweat and tears.

I found myself at my old middle school, not entirely sure of how I got there. I suppose I ran farther than I thought. Mist hung over the soccer field I first saw Henry play on. Way back in the beginning of 6th grade. Some things are just unbelievable.

In the place where this whole mess started, with Henry and even Chloe, here is the place where I cried. Where my sobs turned into ugly tears, the kind you hope no one sees, the kind that only happens when someone dear to you has been lost.

Which, I guess, is my case.