eighteen

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"autumn, are you alright?" gilbert asks as he drapes a thick blanket around autumn's shoulders. she stared blankly at the burning fire, saying nothing. a million thoughts ran through her mind. she felt disgusted in her own body, and she knew that no matter how many times she washed herself the feeling would not leave. gilbert sits himself next to the girl, his friend closer to the fire. "autumn?" he asks, placing his hand on the girls blanketed shoulder. the action causes autumn to whip her head towards the curly haired boy, horror in her eyes. this is when he knew the trauma she had endured.

she needed him, billy. she needed him to hold her in his arms, to stroke her head as she cried into his sweater. she needed him to tell her it's okay, for him to make it okay. if only she could express these needs. her voice was choked up with tears, leaving her unable to speak. her head throbbed with the painful memory of his dirty, grimy hands on her body. gilbert stared back at her pleading eyes. as if it were an instinct, he wraps his arms around the girl. she broke.

gilbert has been gone for so long, autumn had missed his arms around her. she cried into his chest, crawling into his lap. the two sat on the floor like that, leaving the boys friend confused. he clears his throat as autumn's sniffles cease. "oh, autumn. this is my friend, sebastian." gilbert says as autumn pulls out of the hug. she smiles at the man, who had made his way over to the two. "please, call me bash." he says, holding his hand out for autumn to shake. she takes it gladly, giving him a small smile.

///

"it's much too late for you to walk home." gilbert says, autumn sat on his bed as he rummaged through his wardrobe. in her hand, she held a pair of thick leggings that had belonged to his mother. "ah, here it is." gilbert says, pulling out a grey thick, knit sweater. he hands it to the girl, who smiles gratefully. gilbert leaves the room for autumn to change. she slips off her tights and pulls off her dress, looking down to examine her body. dark bruises were left on her waist, ribs, and hips. jeffrey's thin fingers were bruised onto her waist and ribs. her hip bones were decorated with bruises of different sizes. tears well up in autumn's eyes, but didn't dare to fall. quickly, she wiped away her tears and changed into the lent clothes.

gilbert knocks at the door, soon opening it. "i'll sleep on the couch, you know where i am if you need me." he smiles. autumn shakes her head, "no", she whispers. gilbert has missed her voice. "please, stay. i cant stand being alone right now." she begs in a hushed voice. gilbert smiles weakly before walking towards the bed. both crawl in under the thick blanket and lay there. "i missed you." autumn says, her voice still in a whisper. gilbert smiles. "i missed you too, sunshine."

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