Cinnamon Sugar || Zerkstar

Dad

Josh

I hum quietly to myself as I set up a space for another QnA with the sidemen plus JJ. We would've been ready by now but JJ and Simon are taking forever to come down, as usual.

I sit down on the couch and wait for the two. I get some more questions while I wait and absentmindedly talk to the boys around me. After an eternity, Simon and JJ finally come down. My eyes find their way to their joined hands. Private school really brought them close.

I look everyone over and catch everyone's attention by clearing my throat loudly.

"Do you guys have your questions ready?"

They nod, awfully quiet all of a sudden. Vik fidgets next to me, clearly avoiding eye contact. I look at his slouched appearance and softly whisper to him,

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing..."

I sigh, conflicted. We're ready to record and everybody is available but everyone is out of it and exhausted. I pinch the bridge of my nose as my morals dictate my decision.

"Do you guys want to skip the QnA until later? You all look like zombies."

I see the relief on their faces immediately and smile. My boys deserve the rest.

"Thank God! I think I'm catching the flu!"

"Well, great. Now we have to quarantine you and put on masks."

Everyone laughs and begins to banter back and forth while I get up to get the drama queen his cough drops.

"Stay there, Ethan. I'll be right back with some tea and cough drops."

He nods and smiles.

"Thanks, dad."

I wink and walk to the kitchen. I don't mind being "dad" in the slightest, which I know is weird. I love being the dad, actually.

I snap out of that path of thought before it could turn weird. I notice Vik following me like a lost puppy and yawn when I see him yawn. He fidgets as he asks,

"Will you sleep with me, Josh?"

I smile sadly. I know I regulate his sleep schedule. I love sleeping with him but it's sad that I have to keep him healthy.

"Are you still having nightmares?"

He nods, blushing and looking down. I frown when I see his look of guilt. I hate seeing him so upset over such little things. He always feels like he's not worth the effort and hates being a "bother" (like he could ever be), which is one of the few things I hate about him. I walk up to him and gently place my hands on his shoulders. I softly say to him,

"Then of course I will. No need to be embarrassed or feel guilty about it. Everyone needs a little help from time to time."

He smiles weakly as I go back to helping Ethan. I finish making his tea with honey and grab the bag of cough drops we have. I swear, none of them would take care of themselves if I wasn't around.

"I'll meet you in your room then?"

He nods and smiles. I smile back at him before walking to Ethan.

God, Vik is cute.

I talk with Ethan as we walk to his room his room and set down the tea and cough drops on his nightstand when we enter his room. I turn to face him and smile.

"Do you need me to tuck you in too?"

He laughs which turns into a coughing fit. He shakes his head, continuing to cough. He frantically waves his hand towards the door. I take that as a cue to leave and happily take my leave, shutting the door.

I look at the time and sigh. 12 am. I change into my pajama pants quickly before heading to Vik's room, which is the door next to mine. I knock lightly, knowing he can hear me.

He opens the door and let's me in. I smile and look him over. His cinnamon coloured skin, those innocent eyes, his lips, his small frame...Just, everything. He's absolutely adorable but he'll never think that. I'll never get the chance to show him, worship him even, and I'll never know his soft lips. All I'll know is his innocence but it's not fair of me to want all that anyways.

I lay down on his bed before I can work myself into a bad mood, opening my arms so he can snuggle up to me. I sleep with him whenever he's having a rough time sleeping so it's not too abnormal to sleep with him.

It's just abnormal that I have feelings for him.

Why does it have to be Vik? It would've been so much easier to get over JJ or Harry or really anyone else.

I sigh and pull Vik closer, ignoring his cute little squeak at the sudden movement.

I wish he could be mine.

I sigh, letting myself enjoy holding him. I resist the urge to kiss his forehead until I know he's asleep. I murmur a gentle, "goodnight" before gently kissing his forehead and going to sleep myself.