i'd rather be a riot than indifferent

14. forgiveness and moving on

Gabriel apologizes and tries to make amends. Camp is over, and Freed's feeling different.

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"Gabriel?" Freed gaped at their brother, who stood outside the cabin, looking slightly uncomfortable and holding the hand of a young woman with long, brown hair. Gabriel's face lit up when he saw Freed, then dropped into something apologetic.

"Freed, I am so sorry." He let go of the woman's hand and reached out hesitantly for Freed, grabbing their hands when Freed didn't resist. They blinked – was this a dream? Gabriel's wedding was two days ago, what could he possibly be doing here?

"What... who..." Freed felt Gray squeeze their arm, then move away from them and head into the cabin, leaving them alone with their brother and the woman they assumed was his wife.

"I needed to apologize," Gabriel said again, squeezing Freed's hands and giving them a heartbroken look. "For that dinner. I just, I was so... and then dad, he was – I've never yelled at him before, never, but he was so awful and said these, these things..."

"You yelled at dad?" Freed felt dizzy. "Why are... didn't you..."

"I needed to talk to you." Gabriel sighed heavily. "I was too scared to, at first, I didn't know what to say but then I went to the website, the one for where you work. I saw the camp, we bought tickets a few days ago. I tried to text you but-"

"There's no reception." Freed's voice was light and airy, and they took a step backward. "You f-flew? Here? To talk?"

"We got in this morning," Gabriel said, face slowly morphing back into a smile. "Freed, this is my wife, Sarah." He gestured for the woman to join them and she smiled at Freed, reaching out a hand for them to shake. "Sarah, this is my... my sibling. Freed."

Sibling. Freed's stomach was doing a strange acrobatics routine, and they shook Sarah's hand cautiously. He didn't say sister.

"Freed's the one who runs the whole camp," Gabriel explained, and Freed through they detected a note of pride in his voice. "She does this kind of work all year in Magnolia." Gabriel immediately looked mortified. "They, they, not she, I'm so sorry."

"It's... okay," Freed said slowly, still reeling from the shock of seeing their brother, here.

"I'm so happy to meet you," Sarah said, gesturing with eyebrows raised to the picnic table behind them. Freed dropped down on one side, Gabriel and Sarah on the other. "Gabriel's told me lots about you. Especially after his trip up here, and everything that happened with your father."

Freed swallowed heavily, dropping their gaze to the uneven wood grain of the picnic table. An ant was making its way along the surface, carrying a leaf in its mandibles. Freed watched it pick its way over several holes before they finally answered.

"I don't mean to sound ungrateful," they said carefully, picking at their thumbnail under the table, "but what are you doing here?"

Gabriel sighed, leaning forward and placing his elbows on the table.

"I was wrong." The words hung in the air for a moment and Gabriel tapped his fingers on the table. "Dad was awful, and he was – is – wrong, but I was terrible too." He rubbed his face and Freed saw Sarah place a hand on his back. "I should have reached out sooner. I shouldn't have listened to them, I should be thinking for myself. And I am, now. Or I'm trying to, at least."

"What do you mean?" Freed's voice was almost a whisper as they attempted to tamp down the sensation of hope rising in their chest. Last time they'd let themself hope, it had only ended in anger and disappointment.