Chapter 13

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"I'm a failure" I said.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I failed you." I didn't mind crying this time. It was about time I let some tears out. Maybe that way I'll become less of a failure.

"Come here."

I pushed him away. "No. It's better if you just, we just, keep distance."

"But-" his face drawn closer to mine, my face repelling like a magnet.

Magnets repel too.

But our lips weren't magnets, nor they were opposed to meeting against our will.

But my mind was stronger than my lips this time, though his was weaker.

I wasn't hurt by finding out I have a severe mental illness, as much as I was hurt by having to leave his lips bare of the touch of mine.

—24 Hours Earlier—

Jack. Jack. Jack. Whatever I did, I thought of him.

I wanted to focus on my lessons, but no matter how hard I tried, ended up thinking of him. I wanted to help him.

How do I help him when I'm helpless?

And then just like that, everything clicked.

Imagine working on a big ass puzzle (not of a picture of an ass though), and you've went over it for days and days, until eventually you had one piece left.

You lost that piece.

It gets frustrating just thinking about it, and fuck have I thought a lot, and searched a lot, for a puzzle piece that didn't exist.

In the grand scheme of things, though, the puzzle piece found me.

It doesn't always happen; finding out exactly what you need to do. Definitely not when it involves your whole future.

However, right there, in the middle of the examination hall where I was half-assing my way through the toughest Pathophysiology final, I decided my whole future.

I thought about it twice, or three times maybe. But when I saw Jack's face in the porthole of the examination room, I freaked the hell out, and suddenly, I was very much done with the final.

Please don't be my mind, I thought, when I looked again and his face wasn't there.

Then that same mind went over the irony of what had just happened.

Maybe I saw Jack while he wasn't there, maybe. but Jack sees and hears people who don't exist.

Because he's schizophrenic.

And I can't help him.

Yet.

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