Que Será Será

She Stole my Heart and Never Gave it Back (2014-2019)

This one is probably the hardest to write, because this one is the big one.

Faith has been a big part of my high school years, but also not. See, she was one of the main characters in my mind. She was always on my mind, but in reality, for the most part, I only saw her in class.

This story is like those stories you see in movies and TV shows where the girl goes for that bad boy and the small, aloof guy has a MAJOR crush on the girl but she doesn't notice him. This is that story, except it lasts four years and doesn't have a happy ending.

CHAPTER ONE (2013): FRESHMAN ENGLISH

Although she attended my middle school, I didn't meet her until freshman year. She was in my English class. At this time, I was beginning to branch off the cultural norm and do my own thing, beginning with music. I stopped listening to the radio and listened to my dad's favorites. Tears for Fears, The Outfield, and Journey, mostly. I first noticed her when Mr. Wallum, our teacher, asked for a song title to match the lyrics. She answered "Open Arms" by Journey. I perked my head up because of the familiar title, and saw her grin when Wallum said "correct".

That grin.

Faith was no stranger. Although I haven't talked to her, I've known of her. I've had plenty friends of friends who'd talk about them hanging out or something like that. Other than that, she was a mystery. Though I saw her everyday in class, and often seen her, she was still a mystery.

In a way, she still is a mystery to this day.

CHAPTER TWO (2014): I FOUND LOVE IN YEARBOOK CLASS

I became friends with Faith during Yearbook the next year, which is where most of this story takes place. She was probably the biggest reason why I enjoyed Yearbook class so much. Wallum not only taught freshman English, but also was the Yearbook advisor and sports counselor/advisor? I'm not sure what position he stood with sports, nor did I care enough to find out. He was just there, popped in here and there, gave me a noogie, boasted, and walked out. That was the Wallum way.

Wallum relied on Faith to do multiple things. For example, senior year, he made her responsible for the senior ads. Granted, he had relied on me for certain things, too, like business ads (my approachable charm came into play, even when I didn't want it to), the title page (I pitched an idea for the title page sophomore year, and he liked it so much that he made it tradition to make me complete the title page alone), and overall the "idea" guy. I'd roam the other groups and spreads and help the unmotivated classmates with ideas for spreads. What sparked our friendship, I believe, is the empathy we shared for Wallum's reliance on us. I would approach her often, thinking of excuses to talk to her. Should I ask for what we had for homework? I knew well what was assigned the night before, but I would've asked her just to hear her voice or to smell her perfume. Should I ask for ideas for a certain spread? Should I ask what she's doing? Am I overthinking this? I'd often answer Yes, I am. I was constantly in fear that I'd scare her away, or she would find a way to dodge my questions or conversations with her. I had a fear (thanks to past lovers) that one day she'd get bored and poof, she would be gone. Throughout the years in high school, I'd start finding my own taste and opinions. I was blooming into the me today. However, every time I'd see her nearby, my heart would skip a beat, I'd get butterflies, and I'd lose myself entirely. I forgot what I would do in normal conversation. I wouldn't look like a baffoon you'd see in TV shows, but I'd surely feel like one. I always tried different formats of conversation to get her in my arms and dancing the night away.

I watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and asked her about it, since based on my previous observations, she'd like that film. She very much did, and was on a quest to find the film's "tunnel song". The two of us shared the quest ourselves, and as two people with similar music tastes, we thought it would be best if just the two of us could find such a calming song.