TBS and Characters Imagines//requests open

~1~B.

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Nobody knows
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TRIGGER WARNING!
No body understands.
No body understands the pain you go through.
The isolation you felt- no scrap that- feel. The hatred.
Anger.
Pain all coursing throughly your veins.
The thoughts.
Holy shit the thoughts!
Eating at your brain.
Slowly but surely. Making you go crazy.
Crazy with suicidal thoughts.
Crazy with depression.

You didn't understand. A couple of weeks ago you understood the reason for your depression but now it makes no sense. There hasn't been an incident in the glade for weeks now.

A couple of weeks ago Newt (your crush) had yelled at you because you called him a hypocrite
-he was being a bit hypocritical because he called you stupid just after telling the boys not to be mean-and had started saying how he was suicidal and started saying he would kill himself because of you.

You started becoming depressed.
The entire glade noticed the absence of your sarcastic and snarky attitude.
You stopped being rude and eventually stopped talking, period.
You were scared that your words would push another person closer to the edge.

You didn't understand why the thoughts were still there.
Glaring at you from in your mind.

Like say you have two night sky's, the moon is all the horrible thoughts and the stars are the nice thoughts.
You have two night sky's. One is light polluted meaning you can only see the moon(depressed thoughts) That is what your brain is like.
The other sky is not light polluted and you can see the stars (nice thoughts) this is what your brain is like when you are happy.

You started hanging around with Gally and his group of Goons because something is always going on. Gally is always fighting someone so that stops the thoughts for a while.

That is until you are left alone.

All you wanted was Newt, but he hadn't spoken to you in ages. Even Minho says Newt is being cold and distant.

You didn't understand what was going on. Until the night you got called out of your Med-Jacks office to help someone. And you saw him on the cot. Laying there groaning. His leg mangled and twisted. His hands blistered and soared.

Newt Was laying before you. Mangled and bloody but still Newt. He jumped of the walls. Climbed the ivy and caught his leg in it.
You couldn't treat Newt! You were far to close to this patient.

"Y/N FOCUS! WE NEED YOU TO HELP HIM" Alby roared at you!
He was right. Newt was loosing tonnes of blood but it was unprofessional of you to help.
You tried expressing your concerns but Alby turned a blind eye and insisted.

You caved in and sorted him out. (A/N I don't know any medical terms. Sorry I can't elaborate)

It hurt you to see Newt this way. He passed out ages ago due to blood loss.

Newt awoke to sobs. From the corner of the room he was lay in, he could figure out. He didn't seem to understand what had happened. He had died. It was excruciatingly painful, but he had died. Hadn't he? He didn't understand. Surely the afterlife was better than the glade. He didn't understand why someone was crying.
He tried to get up. To comfort the person. To feel something. Anything. Because at the moment everything was numb.
He couldn't move. He struggled against what seemed like restraints. Why was he being held down?
Nothing made sense to him.

The person seemed to notice Newts struggling and walked over, sniffing and wiping their eyes.
As he- wait that wasn't a guy, it was Y/N!
As Y/N came into view Newts struggles ceased and his worries slipped away.

That wasn't the same for you. Your panic seemed to double in size, but you didn't show it.
You walked up to him, emotionlessly, and checked him up.

"I do apologise for the restraints. It is a necessary precaution we have put in place for anyone who has attempted and failed suicide."
You explained with a blunt tone to your voice.

You were going crazy inside yourself.
Yelling at him.
Cursing his actions.
His reasons for doing it.
Bringing every horrible thought to the surface.
Polluting the sky even more.
Feeding the horrors of your mind and emotions.
Kicking your already fallen body.

It wasn't fair. He could just do all this shit. Whereas you kept it bottled up. Alby and Minho pitied him. He doesn't deserve pity.

All this ran through your head as you ran to the deadheads.
Running.
That is all you focused on.
Not the throbbing in your wrists from tying the gauge to tight.
Not the blaring words In your head.
Not the ache in your heart.
Just the running.
Just the adrenaline rush.
Just the blood pumping though your veins.
Actually scrap the last one.
Not the thoughts.
The horrible, horrible thoughts.
Tearing you apart.
From the inside.

You push through the trees. You had reached your destination. The big tree.
Nobody ever came here and after what you are about to do. Nobody ever will.

You held the blade against your wrist. Just holding it. Nothing more.
Soaking up the last of your air.
Another five minutes have gone.
You haven't done it yet.
why?
You didn't want to live.
Why couldn't you do it?
Another 10 minutes.
Eventually you heard yelling.

"Y/N WHERE ARE YOU."

It was Newt. Why would her care? He didn't seem to care about you, ever.
He rushed through the clearing to your spot and noticed you immediately. His eyes locked to yours before noticing your positioning.
He slowly limped toward.

"Y/N please let me help."

You were to stunned. You looked down. The blade on your wrist. Not breaking the skin.
You gasped and dropped it as if you didn't notice what you were about to do.

Newt limped forward some more.
Slowly.
Just like the words eating at your brain.
Slowly.
Steady.
But surely.
He got to you.

A sob escaped your right throat. You stumbled forward, as if drunk, into Newts arms.

Nobody knows.

Well maybe one person.

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Hai a really depressing imaging from Brooke.
I'm bored let's have dinner

-BT