The Cure

The Letter That Changed Everything (sort of)

Hey, Jade.

Has anyone told you you have a beautiful smile and a pair of gorgeous eyes? Well, I just wanted to say, Thank you for existing. You made me a whole lot different person, a better one to be honest. I was pretty knackered back then and you came along with a big shinning light on my life. I don't even care if we actually be dating or maybe hooked up (well, sort of). I'm just happy that you're there, giving me strenght everyday and allowing me to protect you from any harm - even though you know nothing about it. Hehe.

I may have known you a bit now - don't think of me as a stalker or something, I'm just admiring you and loving you from afar. You were that type of person that bits there lips when they were so focused on something. And do you hate clowns? Because I noticed you flinching or maybe avoiding that poster of Pennywise during Halloweens. Don't worry, I always ripped the posters about clowns in the halls, so that you can freely walked around the school without feeling afraid with those stupid posters.

You have these little things that I wanted to tell you in person, maybe some you don't even know.

I'm waiting for that day, Jade.

It let's me create pretty pictures of you and me having picnics, kissing under the stars and rain, getting tangled in the bed during Friday night, drinking hot chocolate and singing our favorite song when it's raining, and going on a date on an ice-cream parlor or in a fancy restaurant. All of these things are possible in my head. And you could be that person.

You represent a possiblity of change and romance, giving me something that I've been craving for so long. And you don't even know it!

You're just sitting there, with Leigh Anne and Jesy, being cute and adorable and crushworthy, not being aware of the joy you have given to me. If you knew, maybe you would really be creeped out or maybe - by any chance, you'd realize that you felt the same way about me. I won't know until I actually do something about it.

Therein lies the dilemma of having a crush.

One of it was you liked my friends and not me, which gave me the urge to move on from you. But I fought from it. Because I don't want to lose you in my life. I don't want to let you go. It hurts me every time I think of moving on. It was like I was drawn into you like a magnet. You think I don't know that you fancy seeing my friends? Well, for me, you're so obvious. The way you will looked at them and steal glances at them every time they weren't looking on your way. You don't know how much I was hoping that you were doing the same thing to me. And you don't know I've been doing that countless of times already: Watching you from afar.

It's crazy, because I don't even know when you became so important to me. It's like watching a snowstorm. You see flakes falling, but you don't realize how they're adding up. Then suddenly, your lawn is covered. All these little things have added up, and you are my snowstorm, Jade.

You are like a math problem. If I can't get you, I'll just stare at you. And the more I stare at you, the more I wanted to be with you. The problem is a bit complicated, because I know you are straight, yet I'm falling for you.

My liking for you evolves into love. And these are some reasons why I love you:

- You have the brightest, cutest smile in the world.

-You make me laugh.

-You make me smile :）

-You make me believe that there's Forever.

-You make me dream that there will be you and I someday.

-You're really cute. Super, duper cute. I can't stand it.

-You're sweet and smart and good-looking and absolutely stunning and adorably dorky and funny.

Not to mention I drown in your beautifully gorgeous brown eyes every time I look into them.

I hide my feelings, keep them hooked up. I LOVE YOU A LOT. I just can't say it to your face. I wish I could tell you. Even though I get mad because of my friends being pushy and all. My crush on you will stay forever because I am hoping you would feel the same.

I hope you feel the same, 'cause you make me laugh even when I can't even smile at the time. You have me deep down hungry for your love.

You see, Jade. I was a different person back then. Very different from the Perrie you knew today. I liked watching people hurting. I liked telling people sarcasms. I loved making fun of people. It was the reason why Harry, Sam, and Jed was so distant to me back then, even though we were best pals at that time. They say they didn't like the bully version of me. I envy them because they can live their lives normally, while me, I'll have to suffer asthma attacks and should stay away from dusty objects. I don't have a sense of smell, too. Which is kinda weird staring at a delicious looking delicacy then wondering what it smells like. For all I know, people get scared to go near me. And I'd like the dignity and reputation it was giving to me. I was expecting the same scenarios when I stepped into seventh grade, but damn, you came and walked through the doors, getting all the students' attention, including me. And I'm saying this to you, Jade. From the moment I saw you, everything - I mean, EVERYTHING changed. The way how I see life changed, and all I want to do was protecting you and get close to you no matter what.

A hopeless-dumb-blonde-romantic,

Perrie♡

Ps. Those times that I might have offended you or maybe insulted you. I have some valid reasons behind it. I did it on purpose. Please. I hope you'll listen. Thank you, love.

After reading that letter, it mades me stay up all night, and question one thing about my persona.. am I totally straight?

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Merry Christmas y'all!!😘💕