You've Got To Be Kidding Me

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I wake, my head pounding. I realize that I'm wrapped up in blankets and on the living room floor. But then, my amazing nose smells the wonderful smell of bacon, and I am tripping over the blankets, just to get to the kitchen.

"Morning sleepy head. There are aspirin and a glass of water waiting for you on the table. Can't have a headache when your about to go shopping." says Tara

"Tara," I say confused "Why are we going shopping?"

"You don't remember what I told you last night?" replies Tara

"No?" I say questioningly

"Let me just finish this and I'll tell you"

"Ok" I reply

As Tara finishes up breakfast, she pours another glass of water for me and puts the plates down on the table for us to sit. We start to eat when Tara says, 

"So, basically what I told you last night is that I got you a job interview. It's not that I want you out of the house, but I got a job at my uncle's shop and I just thought you could use a job too. So I went online and found an ad and I replied as you saying that you will go in when they want to interview all the people who want the job. And I gave them your phone number, so they could call you and let you know if anything had changed. In which it hasn't, but just in case." 

"Oh, well that's cool. Thanks for trying to get me a job. Whenever they call, I'm totally not gonna freak out, because I know whatever you signed me up for, I can totally handle." I say cheerfully

"Good, good. That's the optimism I love hearing from you" says Tara

"Yeah, that's-" I'm cut off by my phone ringing

"Hello?" I say

"Hi, is this Stephanie Lynn Ryder?"

"Yes, speaking"

"Hi, this is Maria-Rose, Mr. Mason's secretary. I'm just calling to make sure you are still coming in for the scheduled interview tomorrow" After hearing this, I was totally confused, but of course had to play along since I didn't want to seem dumb.

"Yes, I will be there tomorrow. Can you just remind me at what time I'm supposed to be there?" I say

"Of course. You have to be there at 8:30 sharp tomorrow morning. Mr. Mason hates lateness. And since you are applying for the position of his P.A, you really don't want to be late. He'll fire you on the spot. Is there anything else I can help you with?" Maria-Rose asks

"No, nothing at all. Thank you for reminding me about the interview."

"No problem, have a nice day"

"You too, bye-bye now," I say

As I hang up the phone, I see that Tara had mysteriously disappeared. 

"Tara, is there anything you want to tell me?" I ask

"Sur-prise?" says Tara

"Surprise?! That's all you have to say? What were you thinking? To be a P.A, you have to have some academic background at college. I didn't go to college. And to make things worse, it's not just any random guy that's got a lot of money. It's Carter mother fucking Drew Mason. The second richest person in the world because his father comes first. There's no way, I stand a chance of even getting that job. And when I show up there, I'm just going to make a big fool out of myself. I can't believe you would do this to me, Tara. When you said you had gotten me a job interview, I didn't think that it would be anything close to that. And even if I wanted to do the job, I don't have a résumé filled out. And what's gonna make him choose me, I've got nothing to impress him with. What do you suggest I do to impress him, Tara since this was your bright ass idea? Am I supposed to impress him with my many band t-shirts?" 

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