The Interview | ✔️

Nervous

The song for this chapter is Nervous by Shawn Mendes (yes I am aware that this doesn't exactly relate to Steph's situation 100%, but I still think the chorus of the song fits)

Recap:

My baby was finally getting back on her feet. I still felt bad for her though. She didn't deserve what happened to her. No one should have to go through that. But right now, more than ever, she needs her best friend. But Tara who seemed like such an amazing and nice person turned out to be a complete bitch in the end and made everything about her. The audacity of some people I tell you.

All that aside, I was happy my baby was finally getting better. Tomorrow is another day.

Steph's P.O.V

While Carter was calling my parents, I decided to go to sleep because I was extremely tired. When I awoke, Carter informed me that tomorrow I would be meeting my parents. Was I excited? Yes. But at the same time, I was a nervous wreck.

Are they going to like me?

What if they didn't like me?

What if I am nothing like what they imagined?

What if they realize they're better off without me?

What if they don't want me in their life after they meet me?

So many questions, yet so little time. I could barely sleep that night. Too many questions were running through my head and too many bad scenarios played out in my head over and over again. Breathe, Stephanie. Breathe. I told myself over and over. By morning, I was still a nervous wreck, desite Carter's attempts to calm me down.

"Hey. Listen to me. If they can't see you for the amazing person you are, then screw them. You were fine without them anyway. They don't like you or want you in their life, then that's their loss. But I doubt that it's going to come to that. I promise you, not everyone in this world is against you, despite what you believe. I can tell they love you, even if they haven't met you yet. But if you want to cancel, we can. I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to do," Carter says.

Part of me wanted to cancel. He was right, afterall. I had survived all these years without them. I'm in my twenties now, fully grown. I don't need parents to keep a roof over my head or to provide food for me every night. I don't need a mom or dad to ask me if I did my homework or studied for my upcoming test. But that's the thing. I didn't need a mom or dad. But I want them. I want a mom and dad that do care for me. A mom and dad that are real. And the only way for me to get that, is if I push my fear aside and meet them. 

As Frank Herbert said in Dune, "I‌ ‌must‌ ‌not‌ ‌fear.‌ ‌Fear‌ ‌is‌ ‌the‌ ‌mind-killer.‌ ‌Fear‌ ‌is‌ ‌the‌ ‌little-death‌ ‌that‌ ‌brings‌ ‌total‌ ‌obliteration.‌ ‌ ‌I‌ ‌will‌ ‌face‌ ‌my‌ ‌fear.‌ ‌I‌ ‌will‌ ‌permit‌ ‌it‌ ‌to‌ ‌pass‌ ‌over‌ ‌and‌ ‌through‌ ‌me.‌ ‌ ‌And‌ ‌when‌ ‌it‌ ‌has‌ ‌gone‌ ‌past‌ ‌I‌ ‌will‌ ‌turn‌ ‌the‌ ‌inner‌ ‌eye‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ ‌its‌ ‌path.‌ ‌Where‌ ‌the‌ ‌fear‌ ‌has‌ ‌gone‌ ‌there‌ ‌will‌ ‌be‌ ‌nothing.‌ ‌Only‌ ‌I‌ ‌will‌ ‌remain."‌ The only way for me to conquer my fear, is to face it head on. And when I do, either I will remain or my parents and I will remain.

"No. I'll go. They may not be a necessity, and I may have survived without them, but I still want them in my life. I need a real family. And I know that family isn't defined by blood alone, and I am eternally grateful for you and how much you've done for me, but I need my mom and dad. My real mom and dad. So let's get going. I don't want to make a bad first impression by being late," I say.

"That's my girl," Carter says as he takes my hand. Walking out the door and getting into his car, we drive to a little diner not too far from our place. Parking in the parking lot, Carter and I sit in silence. He's waiting. Waiting for me to be fully and completely ready. But what was about to happen, was serious. Life-changing. But change is inevitable. As the quote goes, "All great changes are preceded by chaos," and let's face it, my life has been pretty chaotic.

"Okay. I'm ready," I say.

"You're sure?" Carter asks.

"Positive," I reply. It was now or never. And as they say, better late than never. Plus, what's the worst that can happen? They think you're pathetic and want nothing to do with you. Shut the fuck up brain, nobody asked you. Pushing the negative thoughts aside, I get out of the car and walk into the diner. Squeezing my hand in reassurance, we head to a table in the corner.

Already there is a man and a woman, both of them in their late forties or early fifties. The woman had brown hair, just like me, with a hint of gray starting to show. She had a somewhat small frame, much like my own. The man had a salt and pepper look to his hair with a graying beard. You could tell just by looking at him he had been an athlete in his younger years. As we walked up to them, I squeezed Carter's hand. This was actually happening.

"Um, hi. I'm Stephanie," I say as I look toward the ground.

With tears in their eyes, my mother and father stood up to hug me. And in their embrace, I felt safe. As we talked and got to know each other more, it turns out my mother and I are almost exactly the same. From looks, to hobbies, we could basically be twins. My father became more protective than anything, as he grilled Carter on who he was and what his intentions were. As we talked for hours, I had this warm and bubbly feeling inside me.

I was finally home. 

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Okay, so this is a really short chapter, and way overdue. I apologize for the lack of updating for about 8 months. Never again shall this happen, I promise. As always, don't forget to comment, vote, share, and follow if you're new!

I love each and one of you Badass Kings and Queens!