Save me

chapter six

Ayden Grant

I was disgusting. Everyone thought so. It was true though. Even if I didn't send the picture willingly I still did it and now I have to deal with the consequences of it. This picture was ruining my life. I had gone from the unknown boy to the school whore. That's what everyone thought I was.

I was laying in my bed across from Cameron. He had told me everything about the rumors and called me names. I was crying and my body was shaking a little. I didn't want it to be too noticeable though. I had already been embarrassed enough in front of him and on the first day we met. I felt worthless. I felt disgusted with myself. I felt like I was a slut. I felt humiliated. Mostly I felt used. I hated this feeling. I hated how weak I was. I would cry at names that shouldn't hurt me or rumors that weren't even true. But they really did hurt. I tried to ignore it but I just couldn't. It was too hard for me. To think everyone thought these rumors were true hurt me so bad.

I continued crying in my bed. I was facing against the wall so Cameron couldn't see me but I'm sure he could hear me. I wasn't really that quiet.

"Are you seriously crying?" he laughed out. "Wow, pathetic" He continued.

His words just made me cry harder. Hearing them out loud made it worse. I rolled over so I was on the other side of my bed, facing him. I stood up and walked out of the room. He just watched me not saying anything else to me. I walked down the hallway to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me. I grabbed some tissues drying up my face. I looked in the mirror. My face was bright shade of pink as well as my eyes. My face was a little wet from my tears. I looked weak. He was right.

I looked around on the counters searching for a pill bottle. I opened it up and dumped them out on the counter. I wonder how many of these it would take to overdose on. 20, 30, more? I wanted to do it so badly. I wanted to end my pain. I picked up a handful of them. I don't know how many I was holding.

Just do it already. Nobody cares. You won't be missed.

I had no one that loved me. I had no friends. I was a slut. I was worthless. I had no reason to live. I was a mistake. I never should have been born.

I took the pills I was holding. There were still some on the counter but I just left them there. I had taken around 15 or something I wasn't really sure.

I took off my clothes and got in the shower. The water felt so warm. Warm water was soothing to me. It helped me calm down. I felt drowsy. I was leaning against the wall with my eyes half opened.
Maybe those pills were sleeping pills? I didn't read the label so I had no idea. My eyes were slowly closing. I tried so hard to keep them open but I couldn't.

I was half asleep when I heard a loud crashing noise. I felt cold and wet. I couldn't open my eyes though. I was still so tired.

"What the fuck?! Are you kidding me?" I heard someone say.

I felt something touching me but I didn't really care. I was so tired right now. Whatever was touching me now felt warm instead of the cold.

"I can't believe he did this. What's wrong with him?" I heard more mumbling.

I felt someone shaking my body in an attempt to wake me up. My eyes refused to open. I hadn't slept long enough to be woken up.

"Wake the fuck up already" the voice yelled at me while shaking me harder.

My eyes finally opened. I looked up and saw Cameron over me practically glaring at me.

"You were laying on the bathroom floor." He explained.

I had a bad headache, did I hit my head? I felt cold too.

"I heard a crashing noise and the water had been on for awhile. So I thought you fell or something." He continued.

Cameron walked to the other side of the room and sat on the edge of his bed. He had some kind of game controller in his hand and his headphones on.

"I'm back" he said to whoever he was talking too.

I looked down at myself. I had a towel wrapped around my hips. My body had little droplets of water still. My hair was wet too.

I was in the shower naked. Cameron saw me naked. And wrapped my body in a towel.

Cameron Reese saw me naked. Well I mean he had already seen the picture but this was in real life.

Oh my. I thought to myself. I didn't have a nice body. I didn't have abs or big muscles like other guys. I was average or even below average.

I shouldn't care about what he thinks of me.

But I do.

I got up and looked through my bag for new clothes to put on. I walked back into the bathroom and got dressed.

Does he know I took the pills? Does he even care?

I mean, he didn't say anything about it if he did notice. I wish they would have worked. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed my jaw was red like I had been punched or hurt.

I looked down to the counter to see the pills still lying there.

baby aspirin low dosage

No wonder it didn't work. You need about four baby aspirin to equal one normal size pill. so i had only taken about 3 or 4 pills. Nothing enough to actually hurt me.

I failed this time. Like always

Sorry I haven't updated in months. I don't even know. But I'm gonna start writing this again so thank you for being patient with me. Love you all!