Save me

chapter seventeen

Ayden Grant

She was really gone. Why couldn't it have been me? Why did it have to be her? I should be the one who's gone. I'm useless. I don't deserve to live. But she does.

I stayed home from school for the rest of the week. It had been two days since mom passed away. Her funeral was today. I didn't think I was ready for it.

I was dressed up in a black suit, like everyone else. Wearing black made funerals even sadder. But I guess that's the point. Funerals aren't supposed to be happy, they're supposed to be sad.

I didn't let myself cry during the funeral. I hadn't stopped crying for the past two days. I didn't want to cry anymore. I don't even think I could make tears anymore.

After the funeral we went out to lunch and then came home. The food was okay. I don't really remember how it tasted.

"Ayden," Cameron called my name. We hadn't talked much since Monday night. The night I went crazy and started throwing stuff. I'm so fucked up. I fucking hate myself so much.

"What do you want?!" I snapped at him. I didn't mean to. I was angry all of a sudden. I wasn't really sure where it came from.

Cameron looked at me with shock evident on his face "Do you want me to put on the necklace I gave you?" He asked shyly. I didn't think Cameroon would ever be shy.

"I don't want your stupid necklace! Okay?! I don't even like you. I hate you! So leave me alone!" I yelled at him.

I couldn't tell what he was feeling based on his facial expressions. He didn't look happy though. It was a mixture of anger and sadness.

Cameron walked over to me and grabbed my jaw making me look up at him. "You don't hate me." He said.

"I actually do." I replied. Did I hate him? Why would I hate him? He hasn't done anything wrong to me? Has he? I was putting all my anger on to him for no reason.

"No you don't. You would never hate me. Ever." Cameron told me. He was still holding my jaw. "Let go of me!" I told him. I didn't want to be near him.

"No. Not until you admit you don't hate me."

"Well, too bad for you. Because I do hate you. I hate you so much." I told him. I didn't mean those words. Why was I saying this to him?

"What's your problem?!" I yelled at him. He had pushed me against the wall. Rather violently, I might add. "Showing you." He kissed my neck. "That you don't." He whispered in my ear. "Hate me." He said looking into my eyes.

He pulled off my shirt and let his hands roam all over my chest. "It's not working." I said.

"Oh, baby. I haven't even started yet." He smiled up at me. More like a smirk. Like he knew something I didn't. He bent down and grabbed my legs. He walked over to his bed and put me down.

"I wanna fuck you." He said bluntly. "But more importantly, I wanna make love to you. I wanna show you what love feels like. Make you feel so good. Show you that you don't hate me at all." Cameron said while kissing my chest.

My breathing got heavier. His words impacted me. And his kisses. I should just apologize to him. Tell him that I didn't hate him. I didn't mean those words I had said a few moments ago. I was stubborn though. Very stubborn. I didn't want to admit I was wrong.

Cameron pulled off my pants and underwear. He grabbed my dick and started stroking it slowly. It felt amazing but I wouldn't let him know that. I couldn't.

He stared into my eyes and asked "You feel good?" I didn't answer him. He raised an eyebrow at me and smirked once again.

He rubbed his fingers against my hole. I let out a moan unconsciously. I didn't mean to. It just slipped out.

Cameron smiled at me. He leaned down and whispered in my ear "Say the word and you could be in a whole other world of pleasure right now."

"No."

"Okay, then have it your way." He said. Cameron sat up and walked over to his t.v. turning it on. He grabbed his controller and head set, then sat on the edge of the bed.

"Wha-" he left me like this. As soon I was getting horny, he left me.

He turned around and looked at me "You hate me. Why would you want me to make you feel good?"

"Uh-h I-I" I stuttered out. He had a point but I don't hate him.

"I don't hate you." I finally said. Cameron smiled at me and put his game controller up.

"So, you don't hate me?" He asked.

"No, I don't. I didn't mean that" I told him. I really didn't. I don't know why I had said it.

Cameron kissed my whole chest making his way down to my lower area. He started sucking my cock. It was one of the best feelings I ever experienced. I didn't want it to end. I didn't even try to control my moans this time.

As he was sucking my dick, he put his fingers back inside my hole. It felt amazing as well.

"You're still tight."

"I haven't been with anyone else," I told him.

"Good. Because you're mine. Only mine." Cameron said. I smiled at his words. I liked Cameron. I wanted to be his. We never really talked about what we were.

"Do you want my cock inside of you?"

"Yes, please." moaned out.

"Yes, please what?" He asked.

"I don't know what?" I asked him. What did he want me to say?

"Oh, you know," he leaned down so his lips were brushing my ear as he spoke "daddy."

My whole body got chills from his voice. "Please, daddy?" I asked.

Cameron smilies triumphantly. He lined his cock up with my assole. It burned slightly but I knew it would feel better in a few moments. He fucked me so hard. I had a layer of sweat over my body as did he.

"I want you to ride me."

I was nervous. I had never done that before. What if I wasn't good? What if I messed up?

We switched positions, Cameron was now under me as I sat on his lap. I was leaning back on my knees as I grabbed his dick.

I lined it up to my hole and slowly sat down on it. I was the one in control now. I was riding him, then I saw Cameron's face. He was looking at me with this emotion.

I didn't even know how to describe it. He looked like he was at a lost for words but in a good way. He looked like he was daydreaming almost. A look of happiness.

"Daddy, you make me feel so good." I decided to tease him to see his reaction.

The day dream state he was in immediately went away as he looked up at me.

He grabbed my hips and looked into my eyes as he smirked, "Oh yea, baby? Guess what? You're gonna make me cum." He answered his own question.

I felt Cameron cum in my ass. It was an odd feeling but I liked it. He used his hand to pleasure me until I released onto his chest. I got off of him and laid down next to him.

He walked out of the room and came back with a towel. He cleaned my butt and then wiped off his chest. He threw the towel onto his dirty clothes pile.

We laid down in his bed and both went to sleep. I guess having sex makes you tired. Makes sense.

I was sleeping until around 3 o'clock in the morning. I sat up quickly in bed. My first thought was my mom.

Mom.

She was gone and here I was having sex. I shouldn't be having sex. No it wasn't right. I felt a tear fall down my face. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I such a fuck up?

I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter tbh but vote, comment, share.