him: wanting

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i hope you taste of rose
wine and warm candles
on rainy nights in a yellow lit
room.


after the train
for our first date i
wanna go to the movies
eat popcorn together
and have you put your
arm around my shoulder
while smiling at my blush.
for our second, lets get
something to eat, not too
fancy, just something fun.
for our third date i
want you to take me to a
music concert, where we'll
listen to a symphony under
gold lights and you'll hold
my hand and tell me i'm
pretty, no, beautiful
and when we go home
you'll kiss me
and i'll push you away
say i wanted to be kissed under
the rain for my first time
and you'll laugh
touch my face and tell me
"the next time it rains,
you better be ready."  


stay gold ponyboy
i whispered to god that
you deserve to change the
world, and i did not matter
i did not need you,
but i'm a selfish creature
lying to myself, i want every
piece of you
someone more than the world
would doesn't want that?


14 hour difference
dearest boy of change
i flew to the other side
of the world to align
our sleep patterns
so when I pray at night
i don't have to calculate
your time zone in my head
to ask god that you have a
good day or night or
midafternoon.
but i am here now
you are nowhere to be found


slave contract
why did he have to do this
wake me up from my comforting
dream as he signed
seven more years of his
life to his father
jacob would not get rachel yet
and I would not have you  

   

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