I Lost My Love to the Stars - - - Adashi fanfic

The Departure

I clenched my fists, I could feel my fingernails piercing the skin on my palm. But the sting was barely noticeable next to the feeling of knowing the Shiro was leaving.

No. I thought. I could still get him to stay. I know I could. If I just found the right words, or did the right thing, then he'll stay. He has to stay.

I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't. I don't know what I'll do if he leaves and never comes back. I shot up from my seat. The chair I was sitting in crashed to the floor, earning shocked and annoyed glares from the others sitting around me. But I didn't care. I didn't even stop to fix it.

I just ran. I ran towards my car. I barely remember driving. I barely remember pushing past the security guards and workers. I barely remember calling out Shiro's name.

But I do remember him turning his head. I remember the concerned, pained look that crossed his face when he saw me.

"Adam, you should go," he said gently. Guards were already running over to me, grabbing at me. I shoved them off. When they tried to reach for me again, Shiro put his hand up, signalling to wait. They backed off. "Adam, please," he started to turn away. "Please just go," I grabbed his arm as he was walking away. He hesitantly turned to me.

"Stay," tears were already forming in both of our eyes. "Takashi, god, if you love me then stay," He wouldn't look me in the eye. "Please," His gaze was trained on the tear that traveled down my cheek. He grabbed my face, and slowly, gently, took his thumb and brushed the tear away. Shiro leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes were shut, but one tear still managed to escape.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. My tears came down harder, but I stayed silent. There was nothing more I could do. He wanted to go. I shut my eyes, trying to focus only on the feeling of his hands on my face and in my hair. The feeling of his forehead pressed into mine. The feeling of his warm Garrison uniform gripped tightly in my hands. The feeling of his uneven breath on my lips.
I felt him pull away. Just before I opened my eyes, I felt his nose nudge my glasses, making them crooked. My chest tightened. My hands dropped from his back, and I pulled away from his embrace.

"Bye, Takashi." Before he could say anything else, or before I could try to stop him again, I started walking away, practically running.

As soon as I got to my car I threw off my glasses, and put my head in my hands. Sobs racked through my body. It was happening all over again. Only this time it was worse. If you leave, I'm not gonna be here when you get back. The words rang through my head. My finger burned where my engagement ring used to be. My face burned. My hands burned. Everywhere he ever touched me burned. But my heart, my heart was the worse. It ached. It was breaking. It was breaking, and desperately trying to mend itself. Only it couldn't. Because the only one that could mend my heart, was the person who broke it.