Okay so I really have no idea what I'm going to say, but my therapist told me I needed to start writing things down in a journal so I could get things off my chest and maybe chill out some, or at least I think she means that's supposed to help me chill out. Yeah, right! Oh well I figure I'll try it for a week and see if it helps. If not I'm not writing anymore and y'all can just get a good laugh out of my crazy messed up life for a week.
Okay so where to begin? So today my mother called and started chewing me out about something I was supposed to do but apparently didn't do... I don't know what she was talking about honestly, she never asked me to do anything. Oh yeah I should tell you my mother is psycho! No really... She has a letter from her doctor and like a hundred pills a day she has to take. She is certifiably psycho! But anyway, she was yelling at me about something like the cat litter box not being cleaned or something like that, and I guess I should tell you our cat ran away like 3 years ago... probably cause my mother tried washing her in the washing machine one time. Okay, so back to the conversation with my mother. So she's yelling at me and I'm really not paying attention right? Well suddenly she stops talking, which got my attention. She starts crying uncontrollably for some unknown reason then tells me what an jerk my father is. That he has been abusing her since before I was born, that he lies to her all the time. Somewhere in there I think she said he does drugs, but I can't be sure cause she was ranting and raving and going on like she was being chased by an axe murderer. When my mother gets like this, the only way to calm her down is go home, make her some chocolate milk with extra chocolate and give her her "candy". By candy I mean pills, but you can't tell her they are pills or she panics and thinks your trying to kill her or something. Okay have you figured out that my mother is really psycho yet?
So rather than go hang out with my best friend, I turn the car around and go back home. Lucky for me it wasn't a long drive, I was only 4 minutes from the house. You see, since my mother was diagnosed with some psychological disorder none of us in the house get to go far from home, and someone always has to be home with her so she doesn't run away or hurt herself. It's worse than having kids. I will never have kids just so no one else has to go through this with me if I ever go crazy.
So I get home and my mother is laying in the living room on the floor in nothing but her underwear. I know your thinking "What? That's gross!" Nah, it's not weird anymore to me. She actually runs around the house naked half the time and doesn't seem to care. Once she even answered the door naked for the mailman, who might I say was totally embarrassed. So coming home to her in her undies was no big deal, just another day in the life of me! Lucky for me she has calmed down. So I lay down on the floor next to her and ask her how her day was. It still blows my mind how one minute she can be screaming and crying and the next she's all smiles. She sits up, smiles at me and tells me all about her imaginary day. She went for a walk, had lunch with her mother and sister Judy (just FYI her sister Judy never existed, Judy is a figment of my mothers own imagination). She came home after her lunch out and baked homemade cookies. Just so you know the cookies aren't real either. Sucks for me cause I'm thinking right about now homemade chocolate chip cookies would be awesome. But no such luck, if I'm lucky enough to find some stale French fries from an old McDonalds bag left somewhere in the kitchen by my absolutely retarded older brother or his dumbass stoner friends that would be awesome. But anyway, back to my Mom. So she's telling me all about this wonderful day she had and suggests we both get in our PJ's and watch a movie together. Come on, I had plans with Lindsey, I don't want to watch a movie with mom right now. But if I tell her no she'll start crying and then I'll never get to leave the houses again, so PJ's and a movie sound like a brilliant idea! I go upstairs, change into my "girl time" PJ's and come back down expecting mom to be waiting for me on the coach like normal... NO, not this time, she is standing at the bottom of the stairs, one hand on her hip, one arm straight out pointing at the front door telling me I am a blemish on this families name and I need to leave the house immediately! Say what???? What the heck did I do? All I did was go get my PJ's on. I roll my eyes, start to walk back up the stairs to change back into my jeans, but NOOOO, mom wants me out now. She throws my purse and car keys at me and tells me to leave NOW before she calls the cops. Oh Lord have mercy on my soul... I manage to catch my keys before they slam me in the face and pick my purse up off the floor and head to the front door just like she has told me to do. Thank God I keep a spare set of clothes in the back seat of my car, right? So off I go, to my car. I get 5 minutes down the road and my car dies. Yeah you read that right, my car DIES! I manage to get pulled over to the shoulder I reach back in the backseat where I normally keep a backpack with my spare jeans, and OH this day keeps getting better. NO clothes! Seriously? My cell phone is still sitting in the living room at home and here I am sitting on the side of the road in a price of crap car in my pajamas. Oh did I mention they have CareBears on them! Oh yeah. CareBears. God I hope no one I know happens to see me sitting here.
Lucky for me a cop was obviously close by, he pulls up behind me, gets out of his car and walls up to my window. Crap, my window won't roll down. So I open the door and try to explain to the officer that my car broke down. Of course I can tell he's trying not to laugh at my CareBear pajamas. JERK! I'm really not in the mood to have to explain all this. I just want to get my car towed, call Lindsey and have her pick me up and bring me to her place where I can get changed and hopefully regain my sanity and maybe an ounce of my dignity back. Fortunately the officer offers to have my car towed to the nearest garage for free and even let's me use his cell phone to call Lindsey, who like a true friend laughs at me for a good minute before she calms down enough to say she's on her way! I'm so glad that my misery amuses so many people.
Okay, so I can't see how writing all this stuff down in a journal is gonna help me, honestly I think rehashing it all is just making me even more mad. But I said I'll try this for a week so I'll keep going.
So I get to the garage with my car and the two truck driver who seems quite amused by my pajamas as well, freak! Lindsey is there waiting for me when we get there with a bag of clothes for me to change into. God I love that girl! I go to the restroom to change then give the garage attendant all my information and he tells me he will call when they've looked at my car and know what's wrong. Great, now I get to look forward to be swindled by a mechanic. But we will deal with that when the time comes.
Lindsey and I went to Turners for a burger and fries, soooo good by the way! We chatted about my crazy mother, her crazy father and decided to go see a movie. I don't even know what it was to tell you the truth, just some low budget comedy at the dollar theater that both of us laughed so hard we cried at, not because it was really funny but because we both just needed a good laugh. I'll have to explain my relationship with Lindsey another day, and how we met. But I don't have the time or energy to get into that tonight.
After the movie we went back to her house and hid in her room for a couple hours reading magazines and gossiping about people we went to school with. Yeah there's nothing better than dumping on other peoples lives when yours is so totally way more sucky! It is amazing how much better it makes you feel though!
Yeah so that was my day. When I knew my mother would be doped up enough to not be conscious of me coming home I had Lindsey drop me off. Now I'm here writing in this dumb journal that I don't even want to do, but hey, my father is paying for therapy, so I should at least humor these people right?
Well, I'm ready to call it a night. I guess I'll write more tomorrow. If I don't my therapist will flip out and dad will be disappointed that I'm not trying! So until then, goodnight!
