I didn't sleep very well last night, not because of my hand hurting, but because of my nose. Damn Bryan for throwing his remote at me. What a butt! I'll get him back for that one day. Thank God I don't have to go to school today, cause I really don't feel like facing my classmates, and the prying eyes of questioning teachers. I know someone is going to think I got beat up, some smart-ass is going to make some kind of comment about it, I just know it. Honestly, I wish I could just lock myself away in my room until my face and my hand were all healed up. But Dad isn't going to let me do that.
So I got my car back today. So happy to have wheels again. It means I don't have to sit at home all day everyday, risking life and limb being around the crazies I call family. As soon as the garage called and told me my car was ready Dad drove me over to pick it up. Okay, my car may not look like much, but I love it. It's a rusty bucket of crap, in dire need of some body work and a new paint job, but it gets me out of the house, and I don't know what I would do without it! Dad keeps telling me I should just drive Bryan's car, because it's newer and more reliable, and to be honest rarely even leaves the driveway, but I prefer my own car, as unpretty as it may be. I bought it with my own money (mostly). Dad did help me out a little with $300 that I didn't have, and to be totally honest he offered to buy me a car, one better than Bryan's, but I really wanted to get my car on my own. There's something about working to buy your own things that makes you feel good about yourself. That, and well, I know Dad really can't afford to buy me a new car.
Anyway back to my day. So we went and got my car, and the first place I went was to Lindsey's house. And of course, she wasn't home. I guess I should have called first. Oh well, that's why we have cell phones right? So I text Lindsey to see where she is and what she's up to... I sat in her driveway waiting for her to respond. Normally she get's back to me faster than I can clear out of the text screen and set my phone down, but not today, I literally sat in her driveway long enough to listen to half of a CD, so probably 35 minutes. When she finally does get back to me, she tells me she is at her Grandparents place... I guess her grandfather had a stroke in the middle of the night, so they left early this morning to go visit and probably wont be back for a few days. Now I feel bad for Lindsey. Her family is awesome. Her parent's are normal, he brother and 2 sisters are normal. She has one of those storybook relationships with her grandparents (on both sides of her family). Lindsey is super sweet and cares about everyone, and I know that her grandfather having a stroke has got to be hard on her. But still, all I can think about right now is that I want someone to hang out with for a while so I don't have to go home.
Since there was no point in sitting in Lindsey's driveway anymore, I figured I would go to the park, maybe just hang out on the swings and watch the clouds float by. It was a beautiful day after all! So off I went in my clunker of a car to a nearby park. It was going to be great just relaxing on the swings, listening to the birds, watching the clouds and the little kids play. Although I don't want kids of my own, other peoples are cute, and they make me smile. They say and do the most adorable things.
The park was kind of busy when I got there, but I was lucky to find a killer parking spot, right near the front gate! Maybe my day wasn't going to be so bad after all! I parked the car and headed for the swings! Awesome, they are all available! Guess the kids here today aren't into swinging. I pick a swing right in the middle of the swing seat. I don't like to be up against the side of the swing seat, I always feel like I'll swing sideways into one of the legs. It's a little awkward swinging with just one hand at first, but once I got going it's relaxing! The sky is blue, the clouds are fluffy and perfectly white... honestly, it was like something out of a fairy-tail story. I was watching a group of kids playing on the money bars. The kids couldn't have been more than 4 or 5. They were taking turns, and the bigger ones were lifting the smaller ones so they could reach the bars. It was absolutely adorable. But little ones don't seem to have a very long attention span, and before long the whole group moved on to the sandbox area. Some kids built sand castles, others made roads and used sticks for cars. Boys seem to be born with the natural ability to mimic car and truck sounds. It's so cute! I was so wrapped up in watching this group of 4-5 year old's playing in the sandbox, that I totally missed the group of 10-12 year old's that came to swing next to me. Alright, so I like kids, but there comes an age where they are to old to be "cute" and they are to young to be teenager "cool". That's the 10-12 year age range, and I think that kids this age are just butts. It must be a law of nature that they act out, and act like butts in order to find their boundaries! So, here I am swinging away, watching the cute little kids play and some 11 or 12 year old boy walks up besides my swing and just smashes into me. Totally throws me off my swing. I hit the ground (face first of course), and the whole group starts laughing. This get's the attention of the little ones I was watching play in the sandbox, and now I think the entire park is staring at me. No, I don't think it, I KNOW it. I try to play it cool, get up and brush myself off and get back on my swing, but this punk decides just as I am about to sit back down that he wants that swing. OF COURSE. God I hate kids! Rather than argue with this kid I decide to just do to a different swing. And of course, one of his little punk friends takes that swing. Okay, I give up... I guess I have been at the park long enough, and before I punch someone in the face and end up in jail I'll leave. I had to walk by the sandbox where the cute little kids were playing to get to my car. As I walked by I smiled at the kids who were all still staring at me. I was about to say hi to one little boy who just looked in awe of me, but as I opened my mouth to speak, the little rat threw a handful of sand right in my face and called me a chicken for letting those big kids take my swing. Wow, could this really be happening to me right now? I got kicked off the swings by 10-12 year old's, and now I'm getting pummeled with sand and called a chicken by a 4 year old? Whatever, I just wanted to get out of there before anything else happened.
That pretty much led up to 5:30 in the afternoon, and I knew Dad would be wondering where I was if I didn't come home soon. Besides after the weekend we had at home Dad may want to take a break and go get a beer at the local watering hole. I figured I would just go home, let Dad go out for a bit and write in this stupid journal that for the record I still don't think is going to do any good.
I get home around 5:45, and oddly enough the house is quiet. Our house is never quiet. Bryan was actually gone, Dad was in his office, which is pretty typical and Mom wasn't anywhere to be found. That made me a little nervous. I went to Dad's office to see what was up. Apparently Bryan went to spend the night at a friends and Mom had a breakdown and Dad had to medicate her and put her to bed. I asked Dad if he wanted to go out for a bit, just to get a break, and he declined my offer. I feel bad for Dad. He works to hard, and he never seems to get anything in return. I think I'm gonna try to plan something special for him soon. I just don't know what yet.
I thought about just going to my room, but thought since the house is so quiet, why not try to do something normal, like make myself a microwave dinner and watch TV on the couch for a change? I could watch anything I wanted, no Bryan or Mom hogging the TV. I honestly didn't even know what I'd wanna watch, since I never have control of the TV. I went to the kitchen to get a TV dinner, only to find we didn't have any. Okay, change of plans, I'll make a sandwich... WRONG, no bread. Cereal? No milk. GREAT! I ended up eating crackers and cheese and a couple pieces of ham. Good enough until Dad or I could get to the store I guess. Mental note, stop by the store on the way home from school tomorrow. I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV... ahhhhh, I can totally understand why so many teenagers love sitting around watching TV all the time. It was relaxing! So I sat there, ate my cheese and crackers, sipped a coke, and watched a re-run of America's Got Talent (actually a pretty good show), and Dad came out and sat on the couch with me. I was stunned. Dad hasn't sat down to watch TV with me in years. He put his arm over the back of the couch, and I snuggled in next to him like old times!
It made me sad thinking about how different life was now since Mom got sick. I wonder how different things would be if it never had happened. As hard as it is on Dad, Bryan and I, I know the old Mom is still in there, and this has to be even harder for her. I really wish there was something someone could do to make her go back to normal. Oh well, medicine get's better and better every year... who knows maybe one day there will be a magic pill that will fix whats wrong with her. Until then we can only deal with whatever is happening at the moment.
Oh well, my hand is getting tired from writing, and it is getting late. I have to be up early for school tomorrow. 3 days down, 4 to go in this stupid journal! Until next time!
