//this is just my demons talking//
So... I have endless options, some more painful than others. Some more messy, others with just a bit of white foam.
All I want is for it to be painless and that my face is okay. I don't want to give my closest the horrible sight of my deformed face. I don't want them to think it's their fault. Because they tried, they really did.
But noone can know. What I feel. Who I am. What I'm planning. My disorders. Never let anyone know my next move.
And sometimes, when I try to fight them, my demons, all I can see is what I could've been. I could be 19 and partying and finding my love. Or I could move out and get a dog. They've saved my life so so so many times.
But if I die, I cant do that. I wanna live life and have fun, but also.. I wanna go. Back home where I belong.
"Are you sure you're okay??"
"Yeah I'm just tired, I stayed up all night watching Netflix haha"
"Okay :)"
You fool.
Cant you see the lie I'm serving you?
The lie you so willingly chew and swallow.
Letting it go through your system.
Not knowing that you've been poisoned.
I'll be back
YOU ARE READING
2 am
PoetryTW:// DEPRESSION AND SELF-HARM, SOME TALK OF DEATH This book isnt something you'd want to read. I hope it isn't. It's just a piece of my mind shoved onto paper
