Legend of TUSM, a Zelda/Metroid Mashup.

Captured, Part 2

When I wake up, I find myself lying down, shackled to a chain. Only one leg is chained up. Also, they took my cape...well, actually it WAS their cape, but that's beside the point.

"Not this again. At least I'm not..." At that point, I am suddenly raised into the air. "What the hell is this?!" I am dropped back to the ground.

"Ouch...thank you," I say with a sprig of sarcasm. Then, I'm raised back up. "Damnit, what is wrong with you people?!" I'm dropped again. I hear laughter.

"Come on, show yourselves, whoever you are!" Two females approach the door. "Let me out!!!"

"Hmmm, I don't think so," one of the two responds.

"You are going to pay!!"

"Oh yeah? Go ahead. Do something." I try to raise my hand. "We're waiting." They start laughing again.

"Rrrrrr!!!" I run towards the door. I fly back up again. They walk away laughing.

"This place BLOWS!!!!!!!" I'm waiting there...upside down. My head nearly explodes from all that blood getting to my head...look, I'm talking in circles now. After a few hours, I'm finally dropped to the floor.

"Am I still here? Man, I feel like absolute crap." The door opens. Two females emerge, the same ones from before...I think. They release the chain from my foot and tie up my arms with the same.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"None of your business."

"...But, if I'm going, wouldn't that make it my business?" I think the extra blood flow has made me a bit too intelligent.

"Shut up."

"Alright...you know, this is kinda kinky. We could get Down 'N Dirty. A little three-way action. Bow chicka wow wow!" There it is. I'm back.

"Shut up!!"

"Yeah, more of that. I've always been into that bondage stuff. A little S&M never hurt...actually, it always hurts. Come on, Talk Dirty To Me!"

"SHUT UP!!!!" They slap me across my face, one after another, on both sides. With those ridiculous nails, it really hurt.

"Ouch! Jeez, that hurt. I said a little. Don't you know how to restrain yourselves?" They raise their hands as if they're gonna hit me again. I flinched.

"OK, I'm sorry! Don't hit me!"

"Wimp," One of the females responds. We are now outside where all of their people are watching. They drop me to my knees.

"What's all this then?" I ask with an English accent. "A party in my name?" The leader addresses me.

"One could say that. You are here to truly become one of us. It was your wish, right?"

"Well, uhhh, yeah, but why such an audience?" I ask.

"Because the initiation process is quite entertaining."

"For you or for me?" He only laughs. "OK, see, this isn't going to work. I have to decline." I thought about jumping right there, but we need a little more conversation, don't you agree? Well, no one cares what you think...unless you're gonna give this story a good review.

"What? What do you mean?" I get up on one knee. "What are you doing?!"

"Now, I originally thought that you were going to...BYE!!" I jump up. I see one of those chains coming at me. I execute a mid-air jump. There's a few more coming at me. I execute some fancy mid-air dodging as if I was swimming in space. I land on the rooftop and start running. However, the row of buildings didn't go on forever. I planned to jump at the end, but one of the roofs was poorly built and I fell through. If I don't quickly remove these chains, I'll be subdued again. Thinking...thinking...fireplace...fire...melt metal...metal chains...I got it. It would result in some wrist injury, but I'll live. I stick my arms inside the fireplace and let the metal get hot. Red hot. I then break it apart, conveniently just before the Gerudos ramshackle the house. Also conveniently, the first one that enters has a cape. I rip it off and morph into a ball. I drop a P-Bomb and I'm out of there. I run into the forest, but one of them sees me. They chase me into the woods. There's a guy on a horse and he rides right next to me. I thought he was offering me a ride, then he accelerates away.

"Hey, what gives?" I see my sword in a bag on the back of the horse. "You jerk, that's my sword!!" I continue to run until the Gerudos lose sight of me. I lean against a tree and start wheezing and coughing.

"Man...I...am...exhausted." Examining myself, I have no sword, no cannon, and a minor injury to my left wrist. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to survive. Then, I remember I have the monk's robe. I reach in and put it on. Yes, I know I don't have the same cape and my inventory should be empty, but nothing makes sense in this world, does it? I start to go...undercover.