The Struggles Of Waiting ✔

FIVE

2015

He stood in front of the grave, staring at the name written on the stone slab that marked it. Margot Caldwell, his mother, died only a month beforehand. Old age had taken her, like it had taken his father almost three years ago.

The funeral had been nice and short. Friends and family got up to speak about how wonderful his mother had been. He had to stop during the middle of his eulogy to wipe away tears and calm down his ragged breathing. During the wake people had come up to him to express their condolences. He'd gotten sick of the strange people he had never met before acting as though they loved his mother as much as he did.

Sarah hadn't been there; one of her kids had gotten into trouble at school and she had to go in a speak to the principal. It had angered him on the day. He needed her there, he needed someone to help him through it. She could have booked a meeting with the principal for another day, it wasn't hard to do.

She had come to see him the day after and visited him in his tiny house at least once a week. Sometimes she brought the kids, or Scott, or just came by herself. He did love her kids, they were growing into intelligent responsible adults and he got along well with them. One of them, Sarah's eldest, loved to ask him about his job and anything to do with technology and its production.

At some point over the last month, Philip had called to see how he was doing. They had kept in touch since their relationship ended, but it had taken some time. It had taken nearly a year for Alex to grow comfortable enough to speak with him again. He hadn't taken the break up well, throwing Philip's things out of the house for him to pick up and locking the door when he tried to talk to him.

Now he had semi regular lunches with Philip and Thomas, his soulmate and agent. It was comfortable and friendly, and he and Thomas got along like a house on fire. He hadn't seen them since before his mother died however, they'd gone on a well-deserved holiday to Europe because Philip had won an award for his art. They weren't going to be back for another couple of days.

Philip had actually taken a couple of months between their break up and starting his relationship with Thomas. He'd quickly determined that he was right about the man but had told him that he was still moving on from a past relationship. They had loved each other, and Philip had thought that they were soulmates, so Alex didn't judge him for taking some time to get over him.

Alex hadn't gone to their Ceremony, which he did regret, but at the time he hadn't wanted to see it. He didn't want to face the fact that the man he loved had a soulmate that wasn't him. Philip had shown him plenty of photos and videos of the day. It had looked beautiful, something that only fuelled Alexander's regret.

"Hey," a voice called. "You ready to go?" Sarah walked up to him, placing a hand on his back. They stared down at Margot's grave together, the flowers he had put down when he got there fluttering in the wind.

"Just... Give me a few more minutes," he answered. He would have to go soon, Sarah needed to pick up her kids from school, but he wanted to just stand and think for a little while longer. It's all he'd been doing for the last month, but it felt more comfortable, safer, to do it by his mother's grave with Sarah at his side.

She had been happy when she died. She'd told Alexander that she'd lived a full life with barely any regrets, she had only wished to see him go through his Ceremony with his soulmate. He had told her that she could live for a hundred more years and never see it happen. She hadn't been too happy with that response but hadn't argued with him. Alexander suspected that part of her had agreed with him.

Margot Caldwell had died in her sleep after Alexander had visited her in her little room in the nursing home. The nurse had found her the next morning and had called Alex straight away. He had cried like a child, feeling more alone than ever before. Philip had been on holiday and Sarah hadn't answered her phone. He'd stayed at home that day, hiding from the world.