The Reason I Love The Rain

=I Can't Believe I Trusted You=

"Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."

-C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves-

ARIANNA COX

"Just in time," Oliver smiled, happy that I didn't take as long in the shower as he expected. "Come sit."

I sat around the table, the food was on my plate but I just stared at it. Eden and Oliver had started eating. But I? I just sat there with my hands in my lap.

"Eden, please don't play with your food this time." Oliver grimaced as he watched Eden slice the rice balls and pressed it out with the fork, then she mixed it with beef, leaving the green peas to sit at the corner of her plate.

"I don't play with my food, I just mix it up a little." Eden defended. "Besides, a wise man once said, 'If you don't mix it up a little, you've never lived.'"

Oliver laughed, "That's stupid. Who said that?"

Eden didn't seem to care that Oliver was making fun of Matteo, "Matteo said so."

Matteo. Matteo. Matteo. Matteo. He said that. Then again, he said a lot of things. Anything that he has ever said was a lie. We went through enough to still be together but apparently, I wasn't as special as I thought. When he said, 'I love you', that, that was a lie too.

"Well if Matteo said that, he isn't as wise as you thin-

"He is a liar." I interrupted. "So his words don't hold much promise."

There was silence, Eden looked at me and I saw how gradually her expression morphed. It was as if something clicked. She realized I wasn't being myself. The rain was still pouring and that was the only sound among us. It was probable, that it rained even heavier now.

"Umm, Anna did something happen between you two?" Oliver asked.

I heaved a hefty sigh and got up from the table, "Excuse me."

I went outside and sat on the porch. I watched the rainfall and fall and fall. The wind howled angrily and it shoved the trees forcefully but no matter how far the tree danced unwillingly, side to side, it remained rooted in the ground.

So I just watched, my mind almost a blank. It was the same turmoil, I felt inside. I was angry at myself for being so naive and I forced myself to push aside and bury my feelings for him. But no matter how much I tried burying it, it still resurfaced. It was like trying to sink a plastic bottle.

"Hey," I didn't need to look to see who it was, "You okay?"

I didn't answer, I remained mute. He came to sit beside me and I didn't even spare him a glance. "Okay, you don't have to say anything. Just know I'm here."

I had my phone in my lap, secretly praying that Matteo would call and apologize for the sick and twisted joke he pulled on me. My phone rang, and I looked at the caller ID, it was Stacy. Hesitantly, I answered. I was afraid that by just hearing her voice my heart would crack and the tears would come flowing out. I put the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"I'm glad you came over tonight." I heard Stacy's voice.

"Stacy, what are you talking about?" I asked.

"Well, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to bang you when you invited me." That voice, "Besides, look at you, how could I say no?"

It couldn't be. It was Matteo's voice. All those late-night talks we had on the phone reassured me it was him.

"Of course, you couldn't resist." She hummed softly, "After all, unlike Ari, I will tend to your every need." I heard the smacking of lips together and my best friend, Stacy, was moaning. "I'll make you feel good in ways Arianna can't."

I imagined Matteo touching Stacy, in ways he never touched me, kissing her, telling her things he once told me. I even imagined Stacy, making Matteo feel good in ways I never made him feel. It was true, Matteo and I had never had sex, we've never spoken much of it but we both agreed we weren't ready.

"Matteo, I want you. I want you now." She was pleading, begging him to give her the pleasure she desired. I paled when I heard what was about to happen.

Oliver must've seen the fright and pain in my eyes because he asked, "Ari, what's going on? Are you okay?" His voice laced with worry.

I put the phone on speaker and as I did you could hear Stacy's high pitched moans and Matteo's groans. "Yes, fuck yes!" yelped Stacy.

"Say my name, Stacy, say it," Matteo grunted out.

"Matteo," She feebly moaned out.

"Louder!" He commanded, "Matt-

I dropped the phone and it shattered. I couldn't hold on to it any longer. I felt weak and helpless. I never thought this would be the reason why Matteo broke up with me. I never thought it would involve my best friend.

"Anna, I'm so sorry-

I got up and I ran. I ran into the heavy rain and strong winds. I was running to Stacy's house. I wanted to confirm whatever I just heard. "Arianna! Where are you going?!" He yelled after me.

I didn't look back, I just ran. I ran as fast as I could, through the heavy rain. Stacy's house wasn't too far from mine. It was just a ten-minute walk. The rain was ruthless, the heavy raindrops hit my skin like bullets piercing my flesh but that didn't stop me. I was determined, determined to see the truth for myself. My hair was dripping with ice-cold raindrops.

I approach her house and I opened the door. Stacy's mom and dad were on a business trip so I let myself in. I advanced up the stairs, taking my time. My heavy clothes were soaking wet from the heavy downpour. My tank top sagged on my body but it didn't bother me. As I near the top, I hear something slamming against the wall. It was probably the bed. I then proceeded down the hallway and stopped in front of Stacy's room.