Thinkin' of you till it hurts

2

He never actually left his family's farm.

Instead, Lance would, without a single day off, ring Shiro every night. It's always late, usually between ten and midnight, and he's always exhausted but can't sleep from the images that have made their home behind his eyelids. Shiro is always open to a talk, with a smile in his voice every night, and they'll talk about everything and nothing. Lance will regale him with the shit that him and his siblings got up to everyday, and the progress of new Altea, whilst Shiro would counter with new expeditions and alien species that they had met on their travels.

If Lance is honest, he's starting to get a bit of a crush.

But he tells himself it's not a crush, not when he sweats a little at the thought of ringing Shiro, and his heart rushes like a waterfall in his ears. He tells himself he still loves Allura, when he's hanging on every word that Shiro says. He tells himself he's still grieving and that he needs more time, when every time the dial tone echoes after Shiro hangs up the emptiness hits him like a freight train.

It's six months into their calls that Lance realises that, hey, maybe it is a crush, and that might just be okay now.

It's easily been a year since that first call, and Lance still trembles like a school girl at the thought of him.

At this point, he thinks he's as ready as he'll ever be. He has a plan; ask Shiro when he's next on Altea, prepare a nice meal without the parents this time, and do some stargazing. Maybe he'll kiss him, maybe he won't, but he'll certainly tell Shiro how he feels.

And maybe, Shiro will like him back, smile that small, rare smile that Lance fantasises is kept only for him whilst taking him into strong arms again like the last time they met face to face. Shiro might apologise for being away a lot and Lance will shake his head and kiss his tears like a romantic-era hero. It'll be perfect, or it won't, and that'll be perfect too.

Maybe Shiro won't like him back. That wouldn't be perfect. Lance tries not to think about it.

It's only after a certain amount of coaching from Mama and Rachael that he's able to pick up the phone when the sun's up. Rachael is even sat across from him on his bed, grinning in support with her fingers crossed in her lap. When the dial tone begins, he returns her grin, an unspoken promise of support between the two twins.

"Hello?"

"Shiro, hi!" Lance begins, rolling his eyes at Rachael's miming for him to calm down, "are you busy right now?"

There's a period of silence on the end, interspaced by footsteps and a murmur of official-sounding voices, before Shiro gives a sigh of what sounds like relief. "Thankfully not anymore," Shiro says happily, "I hope you don't mind, I just used you as an excuse to get out of the most boring board meeting of the week."

Lance clicks his tongue. "I have my uses."

"So, what's up?"

"Nothing much," Lance replies easily as Rachael turns back to her own phone in disinterest, "where are you now?"

"Some place called the frox nebula, at least, according to Veronica," Shiro informs him, "it's a little-" he trails off in thought- "wacky."

"Wacky?" Lance parrots, and Rachael sighs in disbelief, "interesting choice of words there, don't let the locals hear you say that."

They share a laugh, and Lance is suddenly aware that the only time he truly laughs anymore is when he's with Shiro.

"So, when are you back on Altea?"

"You know when," Shiro answers with an amused laugh, and Lance's face falls as his brain rushes for notable events in the future, "the memorial dinner is still next week, right?"