Thinkin' of you till it hurts

4

It's another year later, and Lance honest to god feels better.

He's not just lying to Mama, not just to Allura in his dreams, not even to Rachael when she sticks her nose in his room.

Okay, so maybe he has been talking to the Lady who's number Curtis sent him. Mama saw the message on his phone and wouldn't leave until he rang her. A one off session turned into two, turned into her emailing him worksheets and book references, into practically one a week. It's worth it, if just that he's actually calling Hunk and Pidge rather than brief, one word text replies, and his daily calls to Shiro take place at a much more normal time. He spent a week with Keith helping a rather scared planet return to its old ways from before the Galra, which he never would've done before. Mama smiles wider than ever before, particularly when he sits down for dinner with tales to tell after trading friendly insults with Rachael and Luis, and Nadia actually wants him to read her bedtime stories again.

The only problem is that he's not seeing Allura as much, but Elaine says that's probably a good thing - no ones knows exactly what the effects of Allura's sacrifice are, but she doesn't seem to think the dreams are one of them.

When he does see Allura though, she's always happy for him. She sits and listens as he regales her with stories of the week, and she responds with how proud she is, sensitive and sweet in a way that makes Lance's hair stand on edge and a void to grow in his core.

He's not perfect, and he knows that. There's still nights where he lies awake in bed, nails digging so deep into his wrists they draw blood as he's confronted by images of whatever horrors they experienced during the war. He still dives under tables whenever there's a loud noise, he can't talk about Allura properly without crying or getting irrationally angry, and there are still days where he wakes up without even the energy to leave his bed.

But Elaine calls them stepping stones, and he kind of likes that phrase.

He's also spending more time with Shiro and Curtis, and he's not quite sure what to make of that.

The routine they've fallen into goes like this: firstly, Shiro will call ahead whenever they're stopping on Altea, which has become increasingly frequently. Lance will meet them at the docking port, drive them to the city, and they'll have lunch at one of the small independent coffee houses that Shiro secretly loves so much. Curtis will always pay, and will always secretly buy them all huge slices of cake, and Shiro pretends to be surprised.

"Y'know, we're proud of you too," Curtis says one day, catching Lance off guard as he attempts to blow on his steaming gingerbread latte, "you've come a long way since I first met you."

"Should've taken before and after photos," Lance replies quickly, hoping the redness of his face isn't too apparent.

Curtis shrugs, and takes a sip of his own coffee - americano, one brown sugar - as he leans forwards in his chair. "I doubt you would've let me," he admits with a laugh, "and I can still take plenty of pictures now, if you want-"

"Oh god, here we go," Shiro groans, placing down his coffee to briefly bury his face in his hands, "Curt, not another selfie, please-"

Curtis just grins, phone camera open and waiting.

"He's been like this for a month now," Shiro explains to a bewildered Lance, "how many selfies do you have now?"

"Too many," Curtis answers immediately, "but they're nice!"

Shiro shoots him a flat look, and Lance recognises it as the look Shiro would always give him after a shit attempt at flirting.

"We need one with Lance anyway," Curtis continues, and it seems like that is all it took to convince Shiro.