How to Solve Prophecies Like a Pro

Episode Seven

Creekstep: Ooh, it's leaf-bare! What fantastical, amazing, magnificent, spectacular, mystic, and fantastic event shall I conquer today?

Random Warrior: Wasn't it literally just greenleaf last chapter-

Creekstep: *towering over warrior* NO. PLOT. CONSISTENCY. ALLOWED.

Random Warrior: Yes ma'am- I meant sir! Yes sir! *flees in terror*

Creekstep: YOU BETTER RUN-

A clock chimes in the distance, signaling Sootfoot's hourly nap and prophecy.

Creekstep: Let us see what the old badger is up to today! *magically teleports to medicine den, where Sootfoot's is snoring loudly*

Sootfoot: howjwjwhfje...death will...

Creekstep: OOH YAY DEATH-

Sootfoot: bring...about life...

Creekstep: hMmMmMmMm, maybe it could be that somecat will die but another will be born, or-hANG ON, there's an obvious meaning to this! We need to kill everyone in the clan so that they'll come back with magic powers! Duh!

Koi: *comes randomly ninja rolling out of a deathberry bush* PEBBLE I TOLD YOU TO ORDER THE BLACK FIREARMS, THE FUSCHIA ARE TOO BRIGHT- heyyyyyyyy, Creekstep!

Fourth Wall: *looks up from sandwich* Honestly, I'm used to it by now. I'm just waiting for my shift to be over-

Koi: *glares

Creekstep: Why the foxdung are you stalking me?

Koi: My magic admin powers! I also know that you have a prophecyyyyy! *waggles eyebrows suggestively* What's the prophecy? I'll help! Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me

*BREATHE*

tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell meeeeeee please!

Absolutely no time has passed during Koi's very short dialogue.

Creekstep: "Death will bring about life."

Koi: Well, obviously, you have to murder the entire clan so that they'll come back with vigor, courage, bravery, endurance, resilience, mettle, moral fiber, strength of mind, strength of character, strong-mindedness, backbone, spirit, grit, true grit, doughtiness, steadfastness;guts, and fortitude!

Creekstep: Alrighty! Do you have any weapons my apprentice?

Koi: eXcUsE yOu, i'm a strong independent cat who don't need no mentor.

Creekstep: Alright...?

Koi: OH RIGHT, I just got a shipment of uh, decorative, firearms! Whooo!

Koi flies up to the admin slave dorms- server, and picks up the bright pink firearms.

Creekstep: Wowowowowwow, these are perfect! *picks up firearm and accidentally shoots a tree*

Koi: LET US REJOICE IN OUR VICTORY!

Random Queen: YES OMG OMG PLS KILL MEEEE

Random Warrior: Uh, you feeling alright there?

Both cats are shot down by Koi and Creekstep.

Soon enough, dead bodies litter the ground, blood seeping into the grass.

Koi: High-five my dude! *slap totally existent hands together.*

Creekstep: Now we wait!

Koi: ...

Koi: ...

Koi: ..

Koi: uh, Creekstep?

Creekstep: WHAT?

Koi: my uh calculations might have uh been incorrect

Koi: ...

Creekstep: *sigh* Why did I sign the contract again?

Written by Koi

Edited by Solstice